Mother-In-Law's Baby Shower Hosting: Is It Okay?

can a mother-in-law host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law

Baby showers are a time for the host and guests to show care and support for the mother-to-be. Traditionally, baby showers were hosted by a close female friend or family member of the mother-to-be, but times have changed, and today, it is considered acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law. However, some people still consider it awkward for a mother to host a baby shower for her daughter due to the involvement of gifts, creating a potential expectation for the mother to contribute financially to the event.

Characteristics Values
Who traditionally hosts a baby shower? The host of a baby shower is traditionally a friend of the mother-to-be, or the mother or mother-in-law of the guest of honor.
Who decides who is invited to a baby shower? The mother-to-be decides who is invited.
Who decides the menu and prepares the food? The host typically takes the lead on planning the menu and preparing food, but should consult the mother-to-be about any preferences or cravings she may have.
What are the typical activities at a baby shower? Typical activities include playing games, watching the mother-to-be open gifts, eating, and drinking. However, games are not a requirement.
Who pays for the baby shower? The hostesses are responsible for covering any expenses associated with hosting the baby shower. If the mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute her time or money.
What are the etiquette considerations for a mother or mother-in-law hosting a baby shower? It is considered awkward for a mother or mother-in-law to host a baby shower because gifts are involved, and it may appear that they are watching to see who gives what gift. However, this etiquette rule is now considered outdated, and it is regarded as acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower under certain conditions, such as if the mom-to-be lives away from her hometown.

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Is it acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower?

It was once considered improper for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law, as it could be seen as an immediate family member expecting gifts for the mother-to-be. However, baby shower etiquette has evolved, and it is now generally accepted for a mother-in-law to host, especially if the mother-to-be lives away from her hometown and wants to include longtime friends in the celebration.

If you are a mother-in-law considering hosting a baby shower, it is essential to communicate openly with your daughter-in-law and son to ensure they are comfortable with the idea. It may be more customary for a close friend or sister of the mother-to-be to host, so be mindful of their preferences and any cultural or community expectations.

As a mother-in-law hosting the shower, you would typically be expected to contribute financially or through your time and effort. You can decide on the guest list, but be mindful that the number of guests may be limited by the host's budget and space constraints. It is also worth noting that the mother-to-be's preferences should be prioritised when planning the menu and activities, such as games or gift-opening rituals.

If you are unsure about hosting a traditional baby shower, there are alternative options, such as a Sip-and-See or a Meet-the-Family gathering after the baby is born. These options can reduce potential stress for the parents-to-be and still provide an opportunity for friends and family to celebrate and offer gifts if they wish.

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What are the mother-in-law's responsibilities if she is a hostess?

It is generally considered awkward for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law, as gifts are often central to baby showers, and having an immediate family member host can appear self-serving. However, if the mother-in-law is hosting, her responsibilities as a hostess would include covering any expenses associated with the baby shower. She should also communicate with the mother-to-be about the number of guests that can be comfortably hosted, as well as any other details that the mother-to-be may want input on.

If the mother-in-law is uncomfortable with the idea of hosting, she could suggest a Sip-and-See or Meet-the-Family gathering after the babies are born, so that friends and family can meet the new babies and their parents. Alternatively, she could offer to co-host and contribute heavily financially, or let a close friend of the mother-to-be host the baby shower.

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What are the mother-in-law's responsibilities if she is a guest?

If a mother-in-law is a guest at a baby shower for her daughter-in-law, her main responsibility is to show up with a gift and be supportive of the mom-to-be. She can also offer to contribute financially or otherwise to the host, but this is not required under baby shower etiquette.

Baby showers are a time to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a new baby and to give special and needed gifts to the mother-to-be. It is considered acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law, especially if there will be many people invited, as this can get quite expensive. However, some people may view this as awkward, as gifts are involved, and it may seem like the mother-in-law is watching to see who gives what gift.

If the mother-in-law is a guest, her role is much simpler. She can bring a gift that the expecting mother has registered for or that aligns with a certain theme, such as books. She can also participate in any games or activities that are planned, such as watching the mother-to-open gifts, and offer her support and encouragement.

If the mother-in-law wants to contribute more actively, she can always offer to help the host with any expenses or other aspects of the baby shower. However, this is not expected of her, and her main responsibility as a guest is simply to attend and celebrate the upcoming arrival of her grandchild.

Overall, the mother-in-law's responsibilities as a guest at her daughter-in-law's baby shower are minimal. Her main focus should be on supporting the expecting mother and celebrating this joyous occasion with her family.

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Who decides the guest list?

When it comes to deciding the guest list for a baby shower, the most important thing is to keep the parents-to-be at the heart of the process. It is essential to involve them and keep open communication between the organisers and the parents-to-be. Their input can be invaluable, and their comfort should be prioritised. For example, if they prefer a more intimate gathering with close family and friends, or if they would rather have a larger event that includes coworkers and acquaintances.

If the baby shower is being organised by someone other than the expectant parents, such as a close friend or family member, it is still crucial to consult with the parents-to-be regarding the guest list. The hosts should be aware of the parents' preferences and any cultural or religious considerations. It is also important to manage expectations, as not everyone can make the guest list, and space, budget constraints, and personal preferences may limit the number of guests.

In the case of a mother-in-law hosting a baby shower for her daughter-in-law, it is a good idea to ask the daughter-in-law and her partner about it, as they may have reservations or preferences for the guest list. If there are space constraints, it may be necessary to limit the number of guests or consider a hybrid in-person and virtual baby shower to include more people.

It is worth noting that it is common for multiple baby showers to be held, especially if there are many people who want to celebrate with the parents-to-be, such as the mother, mother-in-law, co-workers, sorority sisters, extended family, etc. This can be a good solution if there are many people to invite and space or budget constraints.

Ultimately, the guest list should consist of those who genuinely want to celebrate with the parents-to-be, creating a memorable and enjoyable experience for all involved.

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What are some alternative celebrations?

There are many alternative ways to celebrate the arrival of a new baby that can be less traditional, more informal, and co-ed. Here are some ideas:

Sip-and-See

A sip-and-see party can be held after the baby is born and can be co-ed or just for women. It is a more low-key and casual way to introduce the newborn to friends and family, with refreshments and without the focus on gifts. This can also be done in addition to a baby shower, with guests contributing to an experience fund for the parents and baby, such as a family photo session or a weekend getaway.

Baby Sprinkle

A baby sprinkle is a smaller gathering, usually held for parents expecting their second or third child, but can also be for first-time parents who don't want a huge celebration. It is a more modest affair, with a lighter "sprinkling" of gifts, often smaller and more personalised, and is typically less formal and extravagant, with just the inner circle in attendance.

Virtual Baby Shower

For those who are germ-conscious or live far away, a virtual baby shower can be a great alternative. This can include playing virtual baby shower games, catching up, and opening gifts in real-time, all from the comfort of your own home.

Co-ed Baby Shower

A co-ed baby shower can be a fun and informal way to celebrate with food, drinks, and mingling. It can be held at a bar or brewery, with people bringing their own alcohol, and can include low-key games such as "don't say baby" or "the price is right" with baby items.

Meet-the-Family Gathering

A more relaxed and informal gathering, where friends and family can meet the baby and parents after the birth, without the focus on gifts.

Frequently asked questions

Yes, it is acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower for her daughter-in-law. However, traditional etiquette suggests that it is awkward for a mother to host a baby shower for her daughter as gifts are involved, and it may seem like the mother is watching to see who gives what gift.

If the mother-in-law is not a hostess, her role is simply to show up with a gift and be supportive of the mother-to-be.

The host of a baby shower typically takes the lead on planning the menu and preparing food and refreshments. They may also organise games and activities, although these are not mandatory.

The guest list for a baby shower is entirely up to the mother-to-be. Baby showers were traditionally ladies-only events, but now they can also include men and children.

Baby showers are a chance for the mother-to-be to receive baby essentials, such as swaddles, crib mattresses, and other items from her baby registry. Guests typically watch the mother open their gifts during the shower.

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