Gavin Howe
If you are being stalked, you can and should call law enforcement. Stalking is a crime and can lead to sleeping problems or issues at work or school. It can also become violent over time. In the US, the Combat Online Predators Act, signed into law in 2020, increases penalties related to stalking, especially of minors. In the state of Kansas, for example, stalking must contain intentional harassment, a course of conduct (not a single action), target a specific person, and place a reasonable person in fear for their safety or that of their immediate family. If you are being stalked, you should report each incident to your local law enforcement agency, even if there is not enough evidence to arrest the stalker, as it is important to develop an official record of the stalking behaviour. You should also keep a log of all stalking behaviours, including emails, text messages, photos, and social media posts, and inform those around you, including family, friends, and neighbours, of what is happening.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| What to do if you are being stalked | Keep a record or log of each contact with the stalker |
| Save evidence | |
| Report each incident of stalking to your local law enforcement agency | |
| File a complaint with the police and get a restraining order | |
| Call 911 if you are in immediate danger | |
| Develop a safety plan | |
| Change daily routines | |
| Inform a trusted neighbor about the situation | |
| Get connected with a local victim service provider | |
| File for confidential voter status | |
| Install deadbolt locks and outside lighting | |
| Vary routes taken | |
| Stay in public areas | |
| Avoid joint therapy | |
| Avoid shared custody | |
| Avoid face-to-face child exchanges | |
| Avoid other forms of contact |
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What You'll Learn
Keep a record of all stalking behaviour
Keeping a detailed record of all stalking behaviour is an important step in ensuring your safety and building a case against your stalker. Here are some steps you can take to document and report stalking behaviour:
Keep a Journal: Create a chronological record of all incidents, no matter how minor they may seem. Include dates, times, locations, and any witnesses to the encounters. Document all forms of contact, such as phone calls, voicemails, text messages, emails, letters, or gifts. If the incidents occur online, take screenshots and save any relevant emails or messages. Keep a record of any property damage or physical injuries inflicted by the stalker.
Organise Your Evidence: Create a filing system for all your records. Keep originals in a safe place and make copies to store in a separate location. Scan documents, pictures, and other evidence to save digitally and send copies to a trusted friend or family member.
Report to the Authorities: Contact law enforcement as soon as possible and report the stalking incidents. Provide them with your documented evidence. You can also report online stalking to the relevant website or service providers. For example, if you are being stalked through social media platforms, report the stalker to the platform's administration.
Obtain a Restraining Order: A restraining order, also known as a protection order or no-contact order, requires the stalker to stay away from you and refrain from any form of contact. Contact your local law enforcement, a domestic violence shelter, or an attorney to learn how to obtain one.
Inform Your Network: Tell trusted family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbours about the stalking. Provide them with information about the stalker, such as their name, description, and any relevant details. This creates a support network of people who can look out for your safety and help gather evidence.
Safety Measures: Consider changing your daily routines, such as taking different routes or varying your schedule. Always carry a mobile phone so you can call for assistance. Develop a safety plan, including knowing the location of nearby police stations and how to quickly exit your home in an emergency.
Remember, stalking is a crime, and you have the right to feel safe. By keeping a comprehensive record of stalking behaviour, you can better protect yourself and build a strong case for legal action if needed.
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Inform people close to you about the situation
It is important to inform those around you about what is happening. This includes family, friends, co-habitants, work colleagues, and even neighbours. By explaining the situation, you can reduce the possibility of others inadvertently providing information to the stalker or granting them access to you. It also helps alert them to the significance of any events they witness, and they can provide stronger evidence should the case go to court.
You should also give clear instructions to your close ones about what to do if they encounter the stalker. For example, they should call the police right away and also text you so that you can stay away. It is crucial that those close to you understand the importance of not appealing to the stalker to stop, threatening them, or retaliating to provocation.
Compile a journal that is a chronological summary of events, including dates, times, and witnesses to the encounters. Include telephone calls, items received, and any encounters with the stalker. You may start to see a pattern develop. Keep a filing system for paperwork such as police reports, emails, and telephone records. Keep originals in a safe place and scan copies to send to a trusted friend.
Inform people in protective roles at your school or work about your situation. For example, consider telling your school principal, university official, or security company at work. Show them a picture of the stalker or give a detailed description of their appearance and instruct them to call the police if they see the stalker.
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Seek refuge in a public place or business
If you are being stalked, it is important to know that you are not alone. Stalking is a crime, and it is against the law. It can be defined as a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you are being stalked, it is important to seek help and support from others. This includes informing your family, friends, co-habitants, work colleagues, and even neighbors. Explaining the situation to those around you can help reduce the possibility of others inadvertently providing information to the stalker or granting them access to you. It can also help alert them to the significance of any events they may witness, and they can provide support and guidance throughout the process.
Now, let's focus on what to do if you encounter your stalker in public:
Seeking refuge in a public place or business is a crucial step when you accidentally come into contact with your stalker. It is important to remain calm, not show any emotion, and leave the situation immediately. Enter the closest shop or business establishment and ensure that you are safe inside. Do not be afraid to ask for help; inform the staff about your situation, and they can assist in keeping you safe and contacting the police if needed. Many businesses have protocols in place to handle such situations and will prioritize your safety.
While inside, continue to be vigilant and aware of your surroundings. If the stalker follows you or tries to approach, call the police emergency number immediately. Provide them with as many details as possible, including your location, a description of the stalker, and any relevant information about the situation. Stay on the line with the operator until help arrives if it is safe to do so. Remember, your safety is the top priority.
Additionally, it is essential to have a safety plan in place. This includes knowing how to quickly exit your home and having a designated safe place to go. Always carry a mobile phone so you can call for assistance at any time. Keep a list of critical telephone numbers, including emergency services and support hotlines, easily accessible on your phone and written down in a safe place. Consider changing your daily routines, such as varying your routes and times when going to work, the gym, or other frequently visited locations.
Remember, it is crucial to keep yourself safe and seek help when needed. Stalking is a serious matter, and you have the right to feel secure and protected.
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File a complaint with the police
If you are being stalked, you can file a complaint with the police. Stalking is a crime, and it is illegal. It is important to know that you are not alone, and many stalking victims face similar dilemmas.
Firstly, it is crucial to inform those around you about what is happening. This includes family, friends, colleagues, and even neighbours. By explaining the situation, you can ensure that they do not inadvertently provide information to the stalker, and they can be on the lookout for any events they may witness. This also helps to strengthen your case if the situation goes to court.
Secondly, you should document everything. Keep a journal that is a chronological summary of events, including dates, times, and witnesses. Record all encounters, telephone calls, items received, and any other contact with the stalker. If the incidents occurred online, take screenshots and print out copies of evidence such as emails. You can also report the stalker to the authority in charge of the site or service where the stalker contacted you. For example, if someone is stalking you on Facebook, report them to Facebook.
Thirdly, collect evidence. Keep voicemails, photos of property damage, letters, and any other relevant items. If you can, get a photograph of the stalker without them knowing. Additionally, inform the police of any breaches of protection orders immediately.
Finally, seek support. You can contact a domestic violence shelter, the National Center for Victims of Crime Helpline, or a stalking awareness organisation for assistance and guidance. You can also call the police emergency number if the stalker tries to approach you or if you are in immediate danger.
Remember, it is important to take action and not be afraid to stop your stalker. You can get a restraining order (also known as a court order of protection) that requires the stalker to stay away from you and not contact you. This restraining order can be obtained for free, and you can learn how to get one from the police, a domestic violence shelter, or an attorney in your area.
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Develop a safety plan
If you are being stalked, it is crucial to develop a safety plan to protect yourself. Here are some steps you can take to create and implement a safety plan:
Inform your support network: Share information about your situation with trusted individuals, such as family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours. Explain the details of what is happening and provide clear instructions on how they should respond if the stalker makes contact with them. This can help you feel less isolated and more empowered, and it also increases your safety net.
Document and collect evidence: Keep a detailed journal that chronicles every encounter with your stalker, including dates, times, and witnesses. Record all telephone calls, items received, and any other form of contact or interaction. If possible, photograph the stalker discreetly and document any items they may send or leave for you. Keep all evidence in a safe place, and consider scanning documents and sending copies to a secure email account and a trusted friend.
Change your routine: Vary your daily routines to make it harder for the stalker to predict your movements. This includes changing the routes you take to frequently visited places, such as your workplace or gym, and using different stores or banks. Avoid travelling alone and try to stay in public areas as much as possible.
Secure your home: Implement security measures to make your home more secure. Consider changing the locks and installing deadbolts, window locks, and fire alarms with battery backups. Install a home security system with motion-activated outdoor lights and visible security cameras. Be cautious about what you say on cordless phones and baby monitors, as conversations can be monitored by scanners.
Be cautious with technology: Protect your online privacy and be cautious with your technology use. Have a private, unlisted phone number and be selective about who you give it to. Screen calls from unknown numbers and be vigilant about email and social media communication. Ensure your computer has a strict firewall and is protected against viruses.
Know your emergency resources: Familiarise yourself with the closest police station and those along your frequently travelled routes. Keep a list of critical telephone numbers, including emergency services and support hotlines, by your home phone and on speed dial on your mobile phone. Develop a code word or signal with your trusted contacts to indicate when a stalker is present or when you are in danger, so they can quickly provide assistance or call the police.
Consider relocating: As a last resort, you may need to consider moving to a new location. If you choose to do so, take measures to ensure your new address remains confidential and that you cannot be easily traced.
Remember, your safety is paramount. Do not be afraid to take the necessary steps to protect yourself, and always trust your instincts.
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Frequently asked questions
If you are being stalked, you should call the police immediately, especially if you are in immediate danger. You should also explain why the stalker's actions are causing you fear and keep a record of each contact with the stalker. Save all evidence, including emails, text messages, photos, and social media posts. You can also file for a restraining order against your stalker. It is important to inform your friends, family, and neighbours about the situation and take measures to ensure your safety, such as changing your daily routine and installing security measures at home.
Stalking is any repeated and unwanted contact with you that makes you feel unsafe. It can involve direct or indirect contact, such as phone calls, texts, gifts, or showing up at your location. Stalking can escalate and become violent over time, so it is important to take it seriously and seek help.
Here are some steps you can take to protect yourself from a stalker:
- Change your daily routine, such as varying your routes and the times you go to work or other frequently attended locations.
- Keep a record of all stalking behaviours and save any evidence.
- Inform your trusted friends, family, and neighbours about the situation and give them a description or photo of the stalker.
- Install security measures at home, such as deadbolt locks, outside lighting, and a home security system.
- Be cautious when using technology, as stalkers often use the internet, email, or other electronic communications to monitor their victims.
