Gavin Howe
Sexual activity is an important part of health and well-being and can contribute to greater enjoyment of life for older adults. While sexual activity may decrease with age, a 2022 survey found that 27% of people aged 75 and over reported being sexually active, with a higher percentage of men reporting sexual activity than women. Many women over 70 and 80 continue to be sexually active and remain satisfied with their sex lives, with studies dispelling the notion that age decreases the potential for sexual satisfaction. However, older women may experience physical changes such as vaginal dryness, thinning of vaginal walls, and decreased lubrication, which can lead to painful intercourse. These issues can be addressed through standard treatments, prescription drugs, or the use of lubricants.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Sexual activity among women over 75 | 27% reported being sexually active in 2022 |
| Sexual activity among women over 75 in the US | 14% of women over 80 reported being sexually active |
| Sexually active share among single women over 75 | 8% |
| Sexually active share among women over 75 living with a partner | 41% |
| Women over 75 who chose not to answer the question about sexual activity | 24% |
| Women's sexual concerns at all ages | Loss of sexual desire, problems with arousal, inability to achieve orgasm, painful intercourse, negative body image, and diminished sexual desirability and attractiveness |
| Common disorders related to sexual dysfunction and increasing age | Cardiovascular disease, diabetes, lower urinary tract symptoms, and depression |
| Sexual dysfunction treatment | Treating disorders or modifying lifestyle-related risk factors |
| Vaginal changes with age | Narrowing, shortening, thinning, and stiffening of the vaginal walls, decreased lubrication |
| Pelvic floor muscle weakness | Can cause urine leakage and pelvic organ prolapse |
| Sexual health discussions with physicians | Only 17% of older adults in the US reported speaking to their physician about sexual issues in the past 2 years |
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What You'll Learn
Vaginal dryness and decreased lubrication
Vaginal dryness is a common issue that can cause pain and discomfort during intercourse. It is often linked to menopause and a decrease in hormone levels, particularly oestrogen. During menopause, oestrogen levels decline, and the skin and tissues of the vulva and vagina become thinner, less elastic, and drier. This can lead to vaginal dryness and decreased lubrication, making intercourse uncomfortable or painful.
Vaginal dryness can also be caused by other factors, such as breastfeeding, childbirth, hormonal birth control, cancer treatments, and certain medications, including antidepressants, antihistamines, and anti-oestrogen drugs. It is important to note that vaginal dryness is not always a sign of a serious medical condition, but it can impact a person's quality of life and intimate relationships.
To manage vaginal dryness and decreased lubrication, there are several options available. Water-based sexual lubricants can be used during intercourse to reduce friction and discomfort. Natural oils, such as grape seed, olive, vegetable, sunflower, or coconut oils, can also be used as external lubricants before intercourse, although these may damage condoms. Engaging in foreplay and ensuring adequate arousal before intercourse can also help increase vaginal moisture and lubrication.
Additionally, it is important to maintain open communication with your partner about any issues or concerns. Discussing desires, expectations, and fears can help increase intimacy and improve the sexual experience. If vaginal dryness persists or becomes a significant concern, it is advisable to consult a healthcare professional. They can provide guidance and recommend treatments based on the specific causes and individual needs.
While vaginal dryness and decreased lubrication can be challenging, it is important to remember that sex can be adapted and creativity can be explored. Couples can experiment with different positions and the use of toys to find what works best for both partners. Non-sexual touch and intimacy can also be explored to maintain closeness and connection.
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Hormonal changes and menopause
Sexual activity is an important part of health and well-being, and it is correlated with greater enjoyment of life for older adults. People do not become asexual with age, although they might modify their sexual activity as a consequence of physiological changes. For example, older adults may experience a decrease in sexual desire due to physical and mental changes. However, there are plenty of ways people can adapt to enjoy intimate relationships.
Hormonal changes during menopause can cause a decrease in sexual desire and drive. The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman's body and sexual drive. Lower levels of estrogen can cause a drop in blood supply to the vagina, affecting vaginal lubrication and causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable sex. Vaginal dryness can lead to painful intercourse, known as dyspareunia. Vaginal dryness can be treated with water-soluble lubricants such as Astroglide or K-Y Jelly, and vaginal moisturizers like glycerin-min oil-polycarbophil (Replens) and Luvena. Oral drugs such as ospemifeme (Osphena) can also help by making vaginal tissue thicker and less fragile, resulting in less pain during sex.
Fluctuating hormones during menopause can also have an emotional impact, affecting sleep, mood, and mental health. Tiredness, anxiety, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and depression are common. Combined with the physical effects of menopause, these can also affect a person's experience or enjoyment of sex. A reduced sex drive or inability to enjoy sex can also affect self-esteem and intimacy. Some people experience grief during menopause, feeling they are reaching the end of their youth, and may grieve their fertility. However, not everyone experiences negative emotional effects during menopause. Some people feel a sense of liberation from not having to worry about pregnancy or menstruation, and from having fewer childcare responsibilities.
It is important to note that menopause and postmenopause do not protect against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). The risk of STDs does not decrease with age or with changes in the reproductive system. Left untreated, some STDs can lead to serious illnesses, while others, like HIV, cannot be cured and may be fatal. It is important to continue using protection, such as latex condoms, and to practice safe sexual behaviors.
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Underlying conditions and medications
While many older women continue to be sexually active and satisfied with their sex lives, sexual function does change with age. Older women may experience a decrease in sexual desire due to physiological changes, such as hormonal shifts, vaginal atrophy, and decreased lubrication.
Underlying health conditions and medications can also impact sexual function. For instance, older women with chronic conditions such as heart disease, arthritis, chronic pain, bladder control problems, dementia, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, or stroke may find their sex lives affected. Obesity can also impact sexual function, with weight management and bariatric surgery being possible solutions.
Certain medications can also cause sexual dysfunction. For example, pain medications, psychotropic drugs such as antidepressants and antipsychotics, and treatments for cervical cancer have been linked to sexual dysfunction in older women.
It is important to note that sexual activity does not have to be restricted to intercourse. Older adults can explore different sexual positions, toys, and forms of non-sexual touch to maintain intimacy. Open communication with a partner and consulting a doctor or therapist can help older adults adapt to their conditions and find fulfillment in their sex lives.
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Sexual dysfunction and loss of desire
While it is possible for your 75-year-old mother-in-law to have intercourse, it is important to acknowledge that sexual dysfunction and loss of desire are common issues among older women. Female sexual dysfunction is quite common, yet many women feel reluctant or embarrassed to discuss it with their healthcare providers. It is important to encourage open communication and prioritize sexual health, as it can significantly impact quality of life.
Sexual dysfunction in older women can be influenced by various factors, including hormonal changes, medical conditions, and medications. Menopausal symptoms, such as decreased estrogen levels, can lead to a loss of desire, vaginal dryness, and reduced tissue elasticity, making sexual activity potentially painful. Other conditions like lichen sclerosus, a skin condition affecting the vulva, can also be more symptomatic due to decreased estrogen levels.
Underlying medical conditions and their treatments can also contribute to sexual dysfunction. For example, cancer and its treatments have been known to affect sexual function and intimacy. Additionally, certain psychotropic drugs, such as antidepressants and antipsychotics, can increase the risk of sexual dysfunction. Obesity has also been linked to sexual dysfunction, although it is not clear from the sources whether this is a causal relationship or a correlational one.
Psychological factors also play a role in sexual dysfunction and loss of desire. Depression and anxiety disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), have been associated with significant rates of sexual dysfunction, with low desire being the most common symptom. Furthermore, as women age, they may experience mood changes and an increased risk of depression due to hormonal shifts, which can indirectly affect their sexual desire.
It is important to note that sexual dysfunction in male partners can also contribute to a woman's loss of desire. Erectile dysfunction in partners has been identified as a significant factor influencing the sexual desire of older women. Additionally, stress and emotional burdens, such as caring for ailing family members or dealing with substance use disorders, can reduce the priority of sex in older women's lives.
Despite these challenges, there are treatments available to address sexual dysfunction and loss of desire in older women. Prescription medications like flibanserin and bremelanotide can help increase sexual desire. Vaginal estrogen therapy, vaginal dilators, lubrication, and pelvic floor physical therapy can also be effective solutions. Sex therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) have been shown to improve sexual functioning and desire in women with OCD. Seeking help from healthcare professionals can provide tailored advice and treatments to improve sexual function and overall well-being.
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Exploring intimacy through non-sexual touch
Sexual activity among older adults is a topic that has been explored in various studies. While women over 70 are less likely than men to be sexually active, they are just as likely to be satisfied with their sex lives. Sex for older adults may not be restricted to intercourse and can include other forms of physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are distinct forms of intimacy that are often confused. Physical intimacy refers to any non-sexual touch between two people, such as hand-holding, hugging, cuddling, massage, and back rubs. It can promote feelings of comfort, trust, and connection, and is important for all relationships, regardless of the level of attraction or romance. Touch is an essential part of our psychological well-being and social connection, and the absence of it can lead to physical and psychological symptoms.
For older adults, physical intimacy can be a way to explore intimacy without intercourse. This can be especially beneficial for those experiencing sexual dysfunction due to medical conditions or their treatment. For example, older women may experience decreased lubrication, leading to pain during intercourse, or men may experience Peyronie's disease, which can make erections and intercourse painful. In these cases, non-sexual touch can be a way to maintain intimacy without the physical challenges of intercourse.
Additionally, physical intimacy can help individuals get in touch with their emotions and feelings, allowing them to let go of worries, insecurities, and negative thoughts. It can be particularly helpful for those struggling with anxiety, depression, or PTSD. Creating a safe space for vulnerability, where individuals feel comfortable expressing gratitude and appreciation, is essential for building trust and authenticity in a relationship.
To cultivate meaningful intimacy, it is important to communicate needs and boundaries. Couples should discuss their desires, expectations, and fears regarding intimacy, as well as any underlying conditions or medications that may impact their sexual function. By being open and honest with each other, couples can explore new ways to express their intimacy and enhance their emotional connection.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, your mother-in-law can have intercourse. Many women over 70 continue to be sexually active and remain satisfied with their sex lives. However, sexual organs change with age, and vaginal lubrication decreases, making intercourse more painful. This can be remedied with over-the-counter lubricants.
In a 2022 survey, 27% of people aged 75 and over reported being sexually active, up from 16% in 2014. However, the share of sexually active people decreases with age, with the lowest share among the over-75s. The sexually active share is significantly lower among single over-75s at 8% compared to those living with a partner (41%).
Common sexual health concerns for older women include loss of sexual desire, problems with arousal, inability to achieve orgasm, painful intercourse, negative body image, and diminished sexual desirability and attractiveness. Vaginal dryness is also a common issue, which can be treated with over-the-counter lubricants or prescription drugs.
