Keith Mack
Whether or not to include a family member as a reference on a resume is a tricky question. While some sources advise against listing family members as references, others suggest that it is acceptable if the family member is also your supervisor or boss, particularly if you have worked with them for a significant period. In such cases, it is recommended to provide additional references from people who are not related to you. It is also generally advised to only include references when specifically requested by the employer and to ensure that your references are relevant to the position you are applying for and can speak to your professional qualities and work experience.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Should you list your father-in-law as a reference? | No, it is not advisable. |
| Should you list work experience with your father-in-law? | Yes, but indicate it is a family business. |
| Can you list a family member as a reference? | It is not recommended, but it may be acceptable if they are a supervisor in a family-owned business and you have worked there for a long time. |
| When should you send references? | After an interview goes well. |
| What are references used for? | To understand how you perform at work, your strengths and weaknesses, work style, ethics, values, character, integrity, interactions with colleagues, and fit within the company culture. |
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What You'll Learn
- Including your father-in-law as a reference may be acceptable if you worked for him for a long time
- A family member's reference may be discounted as they may be biased
- It's best to avoid using your father-in-law as a reference if you only worked for him briefly
- A reference from someone unrelated to you would be more valuable
- You should always check that your reference is happy to be listed
Including your father-in-law as a reference may be acceptable if you worked for him for a long time
It is generally advised not to use family members as references on a resume. However, if you have worked for your father-in-law for a long time, including them as a reference may be acceptable in certain situations.
Firstly, it is important to distinguish between listing someone as a reference on your resume and providing references upon an employer's request. It is not standard practice to include references on your resume. Instead, companies that require references will typically ask for them during the application process or after an interview. This gives you an opportunity to contact your references and provide them with information about the role and company.
If you have worked for your father-in-law for an extended period, it may be reasonable to include them as a reference if they can speak to your professional qualities and work performance. In this case, it is crucial to ensure that your relationship is disclosed, and the reference is aware of the potential for bias. Providing additional references from individuals who are not family members can also help to validate your work experience and capabilities.
The length of time you have worked for your father-in-law and the nature of your relationship will impact the perception of your reference. A lengthy employment history of 20 years, for example, would likely raise fewer concerns than a shorter, more sporadic arrangement. If your work for your father-in-law is your only work experience, it may be necessary to include them as a reference to avoid gaps in your employment history.
In conclusion, while it may be acceptable to include your father-in-law as a reference under certain circumstances, it is generally advisable to have a mix of references, including those from individuals who are not family members. The key is to ensure that your references can speak to your professional skills, work ethic, and capabilities, providing a well-rounded perspective on your qualifications for the role.
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A family member's reference may be discounted as they may be biased
While it is acceptable to list a family member as a reference in certain situations, their input may be discounted as they may be biased. Family members are often seen as unreliable referees because they may present an overly positive view of the candidate, leading to questions about the validity of their assessments. This is especially true if the family member in question is a parent or spouse, as these relationships are the most likely to be biased.
Even if a family member is your employer, it is generally better to opt for references who can give unbiased feedback, such as teachers, mentors, or previous supervisors. This is because colleagues or supervisors are better at representing your qualifications and maintaining professionalism. Friends, especially those who have witnessed your work ethic in a professional environment, might be acceptable references, but it's important to ensure their feedback is relevant.
If you have worked in a family-owned business for a number of years and your boss is a family member, you can list them as a reference. However, it is likely that people calling the reference will discount a positive reference from a family member as they may shade the truth when describing your work history. The less formal and less longstanding the employment arrangement, the more problematic a reference from a family member becomes. For example, if you have worked for a few months on and off on a website for your father's company, the reference is likely to be more suspect because the relationship is more personal than professional.
In general, it is recommended to prioritise references from non-family sources such as co-workers or supervisors. These individuals can offer a more objective perspective on a candidate's abilities and performance, reducing concerns about bias.
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It's best to avoid using your father-in-law as a reference if you only worked for him briefly
It's generally best to avoid using your father-in-law as a reference, especially if you only worked for him briefly. While it's not inherently wrong to list family members as references, it may raise some concerns about bias and could potentially devalue your work experience.
The purpose of references is to provide an objective evaluation of your work performance, ethics, values, character, and personal integrity. It's important to choose references who can speak to your professional qualities and provide an honest and unbiased assessment. Family members, even those who are supervisors, may be perceived as less reliable references due to their personal relationship with you.
If your work experience with your father-in-law was brief, it may not accurately represent your capabilities in a professional setting. In such cases, it's advisable to seek references from individuals who can speak to your skills and work ethic in a more comprehensive and impartial manner.
Additionally, consider the nature of your work with your father-in-law. If the work experience is not directly related to your desired career path or if it was an informal arrangement, it may be less relevant and carry less weight during the recruitment process.
However, if you have worked in a family business for a substantial period, and your father-in-law is the only senior person who can provide a reference, it may be justifiable to include him. In this case, it's essential to be transparent about the situation and clearly state that it is a "family business" on your resume.
Remember, the key is to provide references who can offer a well-rounded and unbiased perspective on your professional qualifications, skills, and work ethic. If you have other options for references who can speak to your abilities more comprehensively, it's best to avoid using your father-in-law as a reference to ensure your application is viewed as objectively as possible.
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A reference from someone unrelated to you would be more valuable
While it is possible to list work experience gained in a family business on your resume, it is generally discouraged to use a family member as a reference. This is because people are likely to discount a positive reference from a family member, assuming that they may not be entirely truthful about your work history.
If you have worked in a family business for a long time, a reference from a related supervisor may not raise any red flags. However, if your work experience is shorter and more sporadic, a reference from a family member is likely to be viewed with suspicion. In this case, a reference from someone unrelated to you, such as a customer or another employee, would be more valuable and carry more weight.
It is important to remember that the purpose of a reference is to provide an objective evaluation of your work and character. References are used by companies to gain a better understanding of your work performance, strengths, weaknesses, work style, professional ethics, character, and personal integrity. Given the potential for bias, a reference from someone unrelated to you is more likely to be viewed as objective and, therefore, more valuable.
Additionally, it is worth noting that you should always seek permission before listing someone as a reference and ensure they are aware of your resume and the job description. This is a basic courtesy and allows your reference to be prepared to answer any questions that may arise.
In summary, while it may be acceptable in some cases to use your father-in-law as a reference, a reference from someone unrelated to you is generally more valuable and should be sought whenever possible. This helps to ensure objectivity and provides a more accurate and unbiased evaluation of your work and character.
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You should always check that your reference is happy to be listed
It is essential to ensure that your reference is comfortable with being listed on your resume. While it is acceptable to include family members or friends as references in certain situations, such as when they are your supervisors in a family business, it is crucial to respect their wishes.
Firstly, it is essential to recognize that references play a significant role in the hiring process. Companies use references to gain a more comprehensive understanding of your work performance, strengths, weaknesses, work style, professional ethics, values, character, and personal integrity. They may also contact references to confirm your work history, including employment dates, job titles, and role responsibilities. Therefore, it is imperative to choose references who can speak to these aspects and provide valuable insights into your professional qualifications and character.
Secondly, it is a matter of basic courtesy to obtain consent from your references before listing them. This gives them the opportunity to review your resume and the job description and prepare to answer any questions the hiring company may ask. It also ensures that your reference is comfortable and willing to vouch for your capabilities and character. Sending your references a copy of your resume and giving them adequate time to decide whether they want to be included as a reference is a respectful and thoughtful approach.
Additionally, it is worth noting that listing family members or friends as references may be viewed with skepticism by potential employers. There may be a perception that family members could be biased or less objective in their assessment of your work history and capabilities. Therefore, it is advisable to consider including other references, such as customers or clients you have worked with or more distant family members in the company who can speak to your professional qualities.
In conclusion, while it is possible to list your father-in-law as a reference on your resume, particularly if he is your supervisor in a family business, it is crucial to respect his wishes. Always seek his consent, provide him with the necessary information, and allow him adequate time to decide. This approach demonstrates your professionalism and ensures that your reference is comfortable and prepared to speak on your behalf during the hiring process.
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Frequently asked questions
It is generally not advisable to list family members as references on your resume. However, if you have worked in a family-owned business for a significant period, listing your father-in-law as a reference may be acceptable.
People calling the reference may discount a positive reference from a family member, assuming bias or exaggeration. It is preferable to find someone employed by the company who is not a family member or a more distant relative to provide a reference.
If you have worked in the family business for an extended period, a reference from your father-in-law may be appropriate. In this case, ensure you list other references alongside him, preferably including someone with no relation to you.
Send your references a copy of your resume and give them time to decide. Ask for their preferred and current contact information, and let them know when you need their information. It is essential to maintain courtesy and ensure that anyone listed as a reference has agreed to it.
