Anaya Nolan
Jewish law has a complex relationship with sex, which is viewed as an act of immense significance requiring commitment and responsibility. While sex is not considered shameful, sinful, or obscene, it is also not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. Jewish law prohibits sexual contact outside of marriage, with adultery considered one of the most serious infractions. Within marriage, sex is encouraged, and almost anything goes as long as it is consensual, although there are some rules, such as no group sex, no condoms, and the lights should be off. There are also specific laws around ritual purity, including a prohibition on sex during a woman's period, and the requirement for a woman to immerse herself in a mikvah, or ritual pool, after this time.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Sexual relations outside marriage | Forbidden |
| Adultery | Forbidden |
| Pornography | Forbidden |
| Masturbation | Discouraged |
| Premarital sex | Forbidden |
| Homosexual relations | Permitted in Reform, Reconstructionist, Humanistic, and Conservative Judaism |
| Lights during sex | Forbidden |
| Sex during menstruation | Forbidden |
| Sex after childbirth | Permitted |
| Sex during pregnancy | Permitted |
| Sex after menopause | Permitted |
| Contraception | Permitted |
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What You'll Learn
Sex during a woman's period is forbidden
In Judaism, sex is considered an act of immense significance, requiring commitment and responsibility. It is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. Jewish law forbids sexual contact outside of the context of marriage, recognising that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse. Marriage is therefore a prerequisite for sex, ensuring a sense of commitment and responsibility.
The Torah, in Leviticus 15:19 and 24, states: "If a woman has an emission, and her emission in her flesh is blood, she shall be seven days in her [menstrual] separation, and anyone who touches her shall be tamei [a bearer of tum'ah] until evening… And if any man lie with her at all and her [menstrual] separation will be upon him, he will be tamei for seven days." This passage outlines the requirement for a woman to separate herself during her period, and for anyone who touches her during this time to also separate and cleanse themselves.
Leviticus 20:18 further emphasises this prohibition: "And if a man lie with a menstruating woman and reveal her nakedness, and she revealed the fountain of her blood, both of them will be cut off from among their people." This passage clearly forbids sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, carrying the punishment of karet. The law of niddah, derived from these verses, is the only law of ritual purity from the Torah that continues to be observed today.
According to the laws of niddah, a man is forbidden from having sexual intercourse with a niddah, a menstruating woman. This prohibition was broadened by rabbis, who interpreted that a man should not touch, sleep in the same bed, or even share a meal with his wife during her period. This period of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends on the evening of the seventh "clean day," followed by immersion in a mikvah, a ritual pool for purification.
While some Jewish women are fighting the idea that their periods are "impure," others embrace their heritage without shame. The interpretation and adherence to these laws vary, with some choosing to follow them faithfully, while others may adapt them to their personal beliefs and values.
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No sex until after the seventh clean day
In Judaism, a man is forbidden from having sexual intercourse with a niddah, which is a menstruating woman. This is part of the extensive laws of ritual purity described in the Torah. The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day". This separation lasts a minimum of 12 days.
During this time, a man may not touch his wife or sleep in the same bed as her. Weddings must be scheduled carefully so that the woman is not in a state of niddah on her wedding night. At the end of the period of niddah, as soon as possible after nightfall on the seventh clean day, the woman must immerse herself in a kosher mikvah, a ritual pool. The mikvah is used to cleanse a person of ritual impurities.
The Torah does not specify the reason for the laws of niddah, but this period of abstention has both physical and psychological benefits. The fertility benefits of this practice are undeniable. The laws parallel the advice given by modern medical professionals, who advise couples trying to conceive to abstain from sex during the two weeks around a woman's period to increase the man's sperm count.
While Judaism is permissive when it comes to sex between married adults, the same is not true for sexual activity outside of a committed relationship. Adultery is forbidden in the seventh of the Ten Commandments and is among the most serious infractions in Judaism.
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A kosher mikvah is required after the seventh clean day
In Judaism, a couple cannot have sex during the wife's period. This is known as the law of niddah, which is part of the extensive laws of ritual purity described in the Torah. The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day".
During this time, a man may not even touch his wife or sleep in the same bed as her. After the woman's period is over, the couple has "seven clean days" in which they still don't touch. The seventh clean day is also known as the day of Hefsek Taharah, where the woman examines herself and ensures she is clean before immersion.
After the seventh clean day, the woman must immerse herself in a kosher mikvah, a ritual pool of natural water, located within a building in a Jewish neighborhood. The purpose of the mikvah is ritual purification, and it is an important part of traditional Jewish ritual life. The woman can make an appointment for the mikvah or just show up, and she will thoroughly clean herself in a private shower or bath before immersion.
The preparations for the mikvah include removing jewelry, contact lenses, makeup, skin lotions, nail polish, and any other intervening substances that could separate the body from the waters of the mikvah. The woman will also thoroughly wash and comb her hair and brush her teeth. These preparations should begin during the day and continue into the night until the woman can immerse herself.
The mikvah is a special moment of closeness in a woman's relationship with God and is part of a cycle of separation and reunion in married life. The reunion that follows the period of separation holds the highest potential for sanctity in marriage.
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Sex is encouraged within marriage
Judaism has a rich tapestry of laws and customs surrounding sex and marriage. While some of these laws may seem restrictive, particularly those relating to ritual purity, the overall attitude towards sex within marriage is incredibly positive.
In Judaism, sex is not considered shameful, sinful, or obscene. It is not viewed as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Instead, it is an act of immense significance, requiring commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility. The Torah does not outlaw premarital sex, but it does not approve of it either, and it is traditionally not approved of. The negative attitude towards premarital sex reflects the overwhelmingly positive attitude towards sex within marriage.
Jewish law forbids sexual contact short of intercourse outside of marriage, recognising that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse. The primary purpose of sex is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, and sexual relations play an important role. Procreation is also a reason for sex, but it is not the only reason. Sex between husband and wife is permitted, even recommended, at times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when using contraception.
In Jewish marriage laws, sex is the woman's right. Her husband cannot withhold sex from her. In Jewish sex, almost anything goes, as long as it is consensual and not during the time of niddah (a woman's period). There are some rules, such as no condoms, no group sex, and the lights should be off, but overall, sex is encouraged. It is considered good and healthy, and it can be a way to strengthen a marriage.
The mikvah, a ritual pool, is an important part of Jewish ritual life. After a woman's period, she must immerse herself in the mikvah, which symbolises a return to ritual purity and is believed to bring psychological and fertility benefits. The mikvah is so important that traditionally, a new community would build one before constructing a synagogue.
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Sex outside of marriage is forbidden
Judaism has a rich tapestry of laws and customs surrounding sex and sexuality. While some of these laws are no longer applicable, they are still important to the faith. One of the most important aspects of Jewish law is that sex outside of marriage is forbidden. This is because sex is viewed as an act of immense significance, requiring commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that this sense of commitment and responsibility is present.
Jewish law forbids sexual contact outside of marriage, as it is recognised that such contact will likely lead to intercourse. The primary purpose of sex in Judaism is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. Marriage is, first and foremost, about companionship, and sex is an important part of this. While procreation is a reason for sex, it is not the only reason. Sex is permitted and even recommended at times when conception is impossible, such as when a woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when contraception is being used.
While Judaism is broadly permissive when it comes to sex between married couples, the same cannot be said for sexual activity outside of marriage. Adultery, defined as sexual intercourse between a married woman and a man who is not her husband, is forbidden in the Ten Commandments and is considered one of the most serious infractions in Judaism. While there is no universal prohibition on men having sexual relations outside of marriage, this is believed to be due to concerns about paternity.
The laws of niddah, or family purity, are another important aspect of Jewish law surrounding sex. During a woman's period, couples are forbidden from having sexual intercourse, sharing a bed, passing things to one another, sharing food and drink, or lifting things together. After the woman's period ends, there is a period of seven "clean days", during which the couple still do not touch. After this period, the woman visits a mikvah, a ritual pool, to cleanse herself.
While some may view these laws as restrictive, many Jews believe that they have strengthened their marriages. These laws encourage couples to connect in emotional and mental ways, rather than just physical ones, and promote open communication.
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Frequently asked questions
According to Jewish law, couples cannot have sex after the first night if it is during the wife's period. The law of niddah forbids a man from having sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman. This is part of the extensive laws of ritual purity described in the Torah.
The law of niddah is one of the laws of family purity in Judaism. The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day". This separation lasts a minimum of 12 days. During this time, couples are forbidden from having sex, sleeping in the same bed, passing things to each other, sharing food and drinks, or lifting something together.
After the period of niddah, the woman must immerse herself in a kosher mikvah, a ritual pool, as soon as possible after nightfall following the seventh clean day. The mikvah is used to cleanse a person of ritual impurities.
