
When writing an obituary, it's important to remember that there are no strict rules or guidelines. However, it is generally accepted that obituaries should include the names of surviving family members, such as spouses, children, parents, and other close relatives. In the case of ex-brothers-in-law, it is not necessary to include them in the obituary unless they were especially close to the deceased. Ultimately, the decision of whether to mention ex-brothers-in-law in an obituary depends on the relationship they had with the deceased and the wishes of the surviving family members.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Necessity | It is not necessary to mention ex-brother-in-laws in an obituary. |
| Purpose | To acknowledge extended family and their relationship with the deceased. |
| Considerations | The deceased's wishes, the nature of their relationship, and the length of the obituary. |
| Alternatives | Referring to generic "in-laws" or loving in-laws without specifying names. |
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What You'll Learn
- It is not necessary to mention ex-brother-in-laws in an obituary, but it can be a thoughtful gesture to acknowledge extended family
- In-laws are typically only mentioned if they were especially close to the deceased
- If the deceased would have wanted their ex-brother-in-law included, it may be appropriate to list them
- In-laws can be included in the standard list of survivors, depending on the obituary guidelines
- If the ex-brother-in-law was a blood relative, it may be more appropriate to include them

It is not necessary to mention ex-brother-in-laws in an obituary, but it can be a thoughtful gesture to acknowledge extended family
When writing an obituary, it is essential to remember that there are no strict rules or guidelines. While it is not necessary to mention ex-brother-in-laws, acknowledging extended family can be a thoughtful gesture. Obituaries are a chance to share your loved one's life with others, reflect on their impact, and celebrate their unique qualities and relationships.
Traditionally, obituary mentions were limited to next of kin and blood relatives. However, today's obit protocol is more flexible, reflecting evolving attitudes and diverse family structures. Blended families, unmarried partners, and same-sex couples are now routinely recognised. The key consideration is the relationship's significance to the deceased.
When deciding whom to include, it is advisable to consult surviving spouses or close relatives. While there is no need to list every extended relative, mentioning those with a strong bond to the deceased is appropriate. For example, you might write: " [Name] is lovingly remembered by their brother-in-law, [Name], and his wife, [Name]." This acknowledges the ex-brother-in-law's presence in the deceased's life without providing excessive detail.
If the ex-brother-in-law shared a close relationship with the deceased, you may choose to include a brief sentence or two about their bond. This approach adds a personal touch and provides insight into the deceased's life. For instance, you could write: " [Name] cherished the company of their brother-in-law, [Name], often sharing stories of their adventures together." Such a statement honours the relationship while maintaining the obituary's focus on the deceased.
In conclusion, while mentioning ex-brother-in-laws is not obligatory, it can be a considerate act that acknowledges the deceased's extended family connections. Ultimately, the decision rests with the writer, guided by the unique dynamics and preferences of the family.
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In-laws are typically only mentioned if they were especially close to the deceased
When writing an obituary, it is important to remember that there are no strict rules or guidelines. You can write anything you like and include whoever you like. Obituaries are a chance to share your loved one's life with others, reflect, and celebrate their life.
That being said, there are certain conventions that are often followed. Obituaries usually include important biographical information such as date of birth, date of death, career information, military information, and family information. They may also include information on the deceased's hobbies, passions, personality traits, favourite things, and way of approaching life.
When it comes to family, it is common to list the surviving family members, usually starting with the closest relations: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings. It is also common to list predeceased family members, usually before or after the list of survivors. This list typically includes predeceased parents, siblings, and children, but may also include predeceased grandparents, great-grandparents, spouses, or partners.
In terms of in-laws, they are typically only mentioned if they were especially close to the deceased. The same goes for nieces, nephews, and cousins. If there was bad blood or estrangement within a family, it may be necessary to leave certain family members out of the obituary.
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If the deceased would have wanted their ex-brother-in-law included, it may be appropriate to list them
When writing an obituary, it is essential to be mindful of surviving relatives and the deceased's wishes. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, certain considerations can guide the process. If the deceased would have wanted their ex-brother-in-law included, it may be appropriate to list them, especially if they shared a close bond. Here are some factors to contemplate:
The Deceased's Wishes:
Firstly, consider what the deceased person would have wanted. If they had a close relationship with their ex-brother-in-law and wanted them included in the obituary, it is respectful to honour their wishes. This consideration is about celebrating the life of the deceased and ensuring their voice is reflected in the obituary.
Family Dynamics:
The dynamics between the deceased and their ex-brother-in-law can provide insight. If they shared a unique bond, had a positive impact on each other's lives, or played a significant role in the deceased's life, including them in the obituary can be appropriate. It demonstrates that the deceased's life was enriched by their presence.
Blended Families:
In the case of blended families, it is common to list different family members and their relationships with the deceased. If the ex-brother-in-law was considered part of the family, it may be suitable to include them. This inclusion can be handled sensitively, reflecting the unique dynamics of blended families.
Space and Cost Constraints:
Newspapers often charge by the line for obituaries, so brevity can be essential. If there are space or cost constraints, it may be necessary to condense the list of survivors or provide a general mention of "loving in-laws" instead of naming each one individually. This approach ensures that the obituary remains affordable and fits within the allotted space.
Etiquette and Sensitivity:
It is generally considered appropriate to include anyone who was important to the deceased or part of their inner circle. However, it is also crucial to respect family dynamics and estrangements. If including the ex-brother-in-law may cause discomfort or distress within the family, it might be prudent to omit them or consult with the surviving spouse or closest relatives to make an informed decision.
In conclusion, if the deceased would have wanted their ex-brother-in-law included in the obituary, it can be suitable to list them, especially considering their relationship, the dynamics of blended families, and the deceased's wishes. However, it is also essential to be mindful of family sensitivities, space constraints, and the overall tone of the obituary.
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In-laws can be included in the standard list of survivors, depending on the obituary guidelines
When writing an obituary, it is generally considered important to list the deceased's surviving family members. These are the people who others can turn to to offer condolences and comfort. Typically, survivors are listed in order of closest relations, starting with the spouse, followed by children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
In-laws, such as ex-brother-in-laws, are usually unmentioned unless they were especially close to the deceased. However, it is becoming more common to have blended families, and there is no one right way to describe them in an obituary. You may want to simply list the different family members and their relationship to the deceased. For example: "Alexei is survived by his wife, Marie; step-children, Sam and Theo; his father, Alexander; his grandchildren, Mona and Kerren; and many loving uncles, aunts, and friends."
If the deceased had a close relationship with their step-children or in-laws, you may want to write about how they formed their bond. For example: "Marie is survived by her husband, Alexei; children, Sam and Theo; father, Alexander; grandchildren, Mona and Kerren; and many loving uncles, aunts, and friends. Marie was a wonderful stepmother and was loved dearly by her step-children, Sam and Theo."
It is worth noting that there are no strict rules or guidelines for writing obituaries. Ultimately, the decision of who to include and how to describe them is up to the family. Obituaries can be an opportunity to share your loved one's life with others, reflect, and celebrate their life.
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If the ex-brother-in-law was a blood relative, it may be more appropriate to include them
When writing an obituary, it is essential to be mindful of surviving relatives and predeceased relatives. While there is a standard order for listing names, you do not have to follow this order if it doesn't feel right. Obituaries do not have strict rules or guidelines surrounding them, and you can write anything you like.
If the ex-brother-in-law was not a blood relative, you may choose to omit them from the obituary, especially if the relationship between them and the deceased was strained. However, if they were close to the deceased, you could still include them in the predeceased section or mention them briefly in the same way as other in-laws. For example, "She is survived by her brother-in-law, William, and his wife, Amy; and her former brother-in-law, [name], who was very important to her."
It is worth noting that obituaries can be costly, as newspapers generally charge by the line. So, brevity is often beneficial. You may choose to simply say, "She is survived by loving in-laws, nieces, nephews, and a host of long-time friends," without naming everyone individually.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to include an ex-brother-in-law in an obituary is a personal one and may depend on various factors, including cultural norms, family dynamics, and the relationship between the deceased and the ex-brother-in-law.
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Frequently asked questions
It is not necessary to mention ex-brother-in-laws in an obituary. Typically, obituaries list surviving family members, such as spouses, children, grandchildren, parents, and siblings. In some cases, extended family, friends, and even pets may be included. However, it is not customary to list every extended relative, especially in large families.
An obituary typically includes the following:
- Announcement of death: This includes identifying information such as the person's name, age, residence, and place and time of death.
- Biographical information: Important dates such as date of birth, career information, military service, hobbies, passions, and personality traits are often included.
- Surviving family members: This section lists the surviving family members, usually in order of closest relations, such as spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
- Predeceased family members: This section lists family members who passed away before the deceased. It often includes parents, siblings, children, and spouses, but whether to include grandparents or great-grandparents is a personal preference.
Yes, it is acceptable to exclude certain family members, especially if there is estrangement or bad blood within the family. In such cases, it is advisable to consult with the surviving spouse or closest relatives before finalizing the obituary.





























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