Revenge Strategies: Legal Ways To Get Even

Revenge is a dish best served cold, but it's also a dish that can land you in jail. If you're going to get revenge, it's important to keep things legal. This means no vigilantism, no harassment, and no illegal pranks. So, what can you do? Well, you could sign your enemy up for spam mailing lists or pay a company to send them an anonymous stinky surprise package. You could also try ignoring them, blocking them on social media, or confronting them directly. If you want to get creative, you might send them anonymous letters or texts, post their contact info in public places, or even hire a skywriter to deliver a scathing message. But remember, revenge is a slippery slope. It's often better to be the bigger person and focus on living your best life.

Involve the authorities

If you're seeking revenge on someone, one way to do so without breaking the law is to involve the authorities. This method is particularly effective if your target is engaging in any illegal activities or behaviour that warrants the attention of the police or other relevant officials. Here are some things to keep in mind when involving the authorities to get your revenge:

• Gather evidence: Before approaching the authorities, make sure you have solid evidence against your target. This could include receipts, emails, written records, or any other form of documentation that supports your claims. Having concrete proof will make your case stronger and more credible.
• Remain anonymous: When reporting your target to the authorities, you may choose to do so anonymously. This can be done by making an anonymous tip to the police or providing information to investigative journalists who can legally dig up dirt on your target. Exposing your target's illegal activities to the authorities without revealing your identity can be a satisfying form of revenge.
• Be cautious: While involving the authorities can be a legal way to get revenge, it's important to exercise caution. Avoid making false accusations or reports, as this could land you in legal trouble. Only provide information that you know to be true and accurate.
• Consider the consequences: Keep in mind that involving the authorities can have serious consequences for your target. Depending on the severity of their actions, they may face legal repercussions, loss of reputation, or other negative outcomes. Make sure you are comfortable with the potential fallout before taking this step.
• Seek satisfaction in justice: By involving the authorities, you are not only getting revenge but also serving justice. Take comfort in the knowledge that your actions could prevent your target from harming others or engaging in further illegal activities. Remember that taking revenge by breaking the law could land you in jail, so it's important to stay within legal bounds.

Involving the authorities is a way to get revenge while maintaining a sense of detachment from the situation. It allows you to get back at your target without directly confronting them or stooping to their level. However, it's important to use this method responsibly and only when warranted, as it can have significant impacts on the life of your target.

Go public

Going public is a great way to get revenge without breaking the law. Here are some tips on how to effectively use this method:

Create an Anonymous Online Presence

Anonymity is key when seeking revenge. You don't want to be associated with any potential defamation or libel lawsuits. Create an anonymous Facebook group or webpage to expose your adversary's failings and destroy their reputation. Be careful not to cross the line into defamation, which is illegal. Tread lightly and focus on sharing your opinions and experiences.

Utilize Online Reviews

If your target owns a business that relies on online reviews, you can anonymously share your negative experiences. Platforms like Glassdoor and Yelp allow users to express their opinions as long as they don't lie. Be truthful, yet scathing, in your reviews to deter potential customers and damage their business reputation.

Involve the Authorities

If your adversary is engaging in any illegal or unethical activities, don't hesitate to contact the authorities. Reach out to investigative journalists or law enforcement anonymously with any evidence or information you may have. By doing so, you can get revenge while also serving justice and potentially helping others who have been wronged.

Emphasize Timing and Consistency

Timing is crucial when seeking revenge. Plan your actions carefully and be patient. Striking when your adversary least expects it or when they are at their most vulnerable can amplify the impact of your efforts. Additionally, consistency is key. A sustained campaign of negative reviews, anonymous tips, or public exposés will create a stronger impression than isolated incidents.

Recruit Allies

Consider collaborating with others who have been wronged by the same person. By uniting with others, you can increase the impact of your efforts and create a stronger front. However, be cautious about whom you trust and always maintain your anonymity, even with allies.

Remember, while seeking revenge can be tempting, it's important to stay within legal and ethical boundaries. Always verify the accuracy of your information, respect the law, and be prepared to face potential consequences, even when taking legal revenge.

Online reviews

If your target owns a business, you can use online reviews to your advantage. Websites like Glassdoor and Yelp allow users to anonymously review their employers and rate local businesses. As long as you don't lie, this is a perfectly legal way to air your grievances and potentially damage your target's reputation. Be sure to check the relevant laws regarding harassment, stalking, and defamation in your state, and always tell the truth in your reviews.

You can also email your target's place of employment with your complaints or opinions, as long as you don't make false statements. This can be an effective way to get your message across and potentially cause problems for your target at work.

It's worth noting that while these actions may be legal, they can still have ethical implications. Consider the potential impact on your target and whether your actions are proportional to the harm they caused. Additionally, be cautious not to reveal your identity when seeking revenge online, as this could lead to unwanted consequences.

Surrealist tactics

Mailing Unusual Objects

Send your target a single slice of Kraft cheese in an unmarked envelope every day, without a note or return address. This might sound silly, but it will leave them puzzled and curious as to who is behind this mysterious act. They will wonder about your motive and will likely be too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

The "Returning Your Keys" Prank

Buy a bunch of keys on eBay for cheap. Label them with your target's name and phone number, then leave them all over the place. Your target will suddenly receive calls from multiple people about their lost keys, leaving them confused and frustrated.

High-Pitched Beeping Machine

The AnnoyingPCB is a simple device about the size of a quarter that emits a beep, screech, or cricket sound at random intervals every 5 to 45 minutes. If you can legally place it somewhere hard to find, like under your target's desk, it will perform its function for up to three years, and they will never find it!

Remember, while these surrealist tactics may be legal, use your best judgment and always ensure that your actions do not cause any harm to others.

Passive-aggressive behaviour

Passive-Aggressive Ways to Get Revenge

The Upper Decker

This revenge tactic involves pooping into the tank at the back of someone's toilet. It requires a certain level of dexterity and discretion, but the end result is a potent reminder of your displeasure.

Magazine Subscriptions

Signing someone up for unwanted magazine subscriptions can be a tedious but effective way to clog their mailbox and irritate them over time. While some publishers now require payment in advance, there are still plenty of trade and entertainment magazines that will happily send copies to your target's address and bill them later.

Shellfish Stash

This revenge idea involves hiding shellfish in various places around your target's home, such as inside curtain rods, behind air vents, in framed pictures, or even inside a bottle of shampoo. As the shellfish starts to decompose, the resulting stench will be unbearable.

Homoerotic Workday

If you have access to a co-worker's or acquaintance's computer, you can fill it with homoerotic images or set their wallpaper to suggestive photos of men. This tactic may make them uncomfortable and also let them know that their computer security is lacking.

The Pink Eraser Prank

For this prank, you simply move a pink eraser or any small object on your target's desk ever so slightly, just enough to perplex and irritate them. This is a subtle way to assert your presence and mess with their sense of order.

The Waiting Game

One of the most passive-aggressive forms of revenge is to simply wait and do nothing. Living a happy and successful life, free from the toxicity of revenge, can be the ultimate passive-aggressive move.

Frequently asked questions