Cecily Zamora
Impressing your in-laws can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to Indian mother-in-laws, who are considered both the best and worst when compared to other cultures. One of the most important things to remember is to show them love and respect, even if you may not always see eye to eye. It is also a good idea to call them often, spend time with them, and ask for their advice. Dressing well and bringing thoughtful gifts can also make a good impression. If you're meeting your Indian in-laws for the first time, be sure to go the extra mile and dress traditionally to show your respect for their culture.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Dress | Well, but not overdressed or revealing |
| Politeness | Show interest and respect |
| Food | Tell them it was delicious and bring/make their favourites |
| Relationship with partner | Show you have a good relationship |
| Advice | Ask for it, but don't give yours unless asked |
| Gifts | Give thoughtful presents |
| Time | Spend time with them, especially over the weekend |
| Energy | Always be on the move and not lazy |
| Cooking | Be the cook and take cooking tips from her |
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What You'll Learn
Dress to impress
When it comes to dressing to impress your Indian in-laws, it's important to strike a balance between looking elegant and being comfortable. Here are some tips to help you make a great first impression:
Choose an outfit that flatters you
Select an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfortable. A safe option is to wear a salwar kameez, perhaps in your favourite colour. Opt for an elongating silhouette, such as a straight long kurta, paired with palazzo pants or cigarette pants. If you want to add a fun element, go for a Patiala-style Salwar Kameez with a bit of bling, and team it up with Hoop jhumkas for a complete look. An Anarkali dress is also a great choice, especially in a fresh, vibrant colour.
Consider a Kaftan or a maxi dress
A kaftan is a fantastic option to accentuate your curves and gracefully cover any areas you may be self-conscious about. Look for an interesting cut or a mesmerising print. Pair it with ankle-length leggings and nude heels. Add a statement ring and a bold lip colour to complete the look. Alternatively, a maxi dress can be a fashionable and subtle way to express your femininity.
Dress for the occasion
Find out if the event is formal, casual, or semi-casual, and dress appropriately. For casual or semi-casual occasions, a button-down shirt or polo with khakis, or a comfortable yet stylish dress, are great options. In cooler weather, a nice sweater or a pair of clean, tear-free jeans can also work well.
Keep it clean and presentable
Regardless of the outfit you choose, ensure that your clothes are clean, presentable, and not too revealing or potentially offensive. You want to make a good first impression, but you also don't want to be overdressed or underdressed in comparison to the rest of the family.
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Be respectful and polite
Indian mother-in-laws are considered to be both the best and the worst when compared to mother-in-laws around the world. They can be difficult to impress and are often never satisfied. However, there are some general tips that can help you make a good impression and show them respect and politeness.
Firstly, it is important to stay connected with your mother-in-law. Call her regularly, spend time with her, and ask her how you can help or make a difference in her life. This will assure her that you are there for her and that she is valued in your life.
Secondly, showing respect to elders is essential in Indian culture. Think carefully before you speak and consult the elders before approaching your mother-in-law. You can also show respect by dressing traditionally when you spend time with your in-laws. While this may not be your preference, it will likely impress your mother-in-law and show that you are making an effort.
Another way to show respect and make a good impression is to bring thoughtful gifts when you visit or on special occasions. Gifts that show you know and care about their interests will be well-received. For example, if your mother-in-law collects items with farmyard motifs, a set of hen and rooster salt and pepper shakers would be a thoughtful choice.
In addition, showing that you value your partner and have a good relationship is important to Indian in-laws. Avoid fighting, nagging, or putting down your partner when you are around them. Instead, focus on being kind and loving towards your partner and ask for their advice or opinions on everyday matters.
Finally, it is important to note that while you should always strive to be respectful and polite, you also need to set boundaries and stand up for yourself when needed. Indian families can be stratified and bound to patriarchal rules, so it is crucial to have open communication with your partner and ensure you are on the same page regarding your choices and decisions.
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Ask for their advice
Asking for advice is a great way to impress your Indian in-laws and show them that they are valued in your life. It's a simple yet effective way to build a stronger relationship with them and make them feel involved. Here are some ways to go about it:
Ask for Their Opinion
Asking for their opinion on everyday things is a great way to start. For example, you could ask their advice on what to wear to an upcoming event or for their recommendations on a particular topic. This shows that you respect their thoughts and want to include them in your decision-making process. It's a simple gesture that can go a long way in building a positive relationship.
Seek Their Guidance
In-laws often appreciate being sought out for guidance, especially on topics related to their areas of expertise or interest. For instance, if your mother-in-law is a great cook, ask her for cooking advice or recipes. If your father-in-law is a handyman, seek his advice on fixing things around the house. This not only shows respect for their knowledge but also creates opportunities for bonding and learning from their experience.
Be Open to Their Ideas
When asking for advice, try to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Even if you don't end up following their suggestions, showing that you value their input is essential. It's all about making them feel respected and appreciated. By being receptive to their ideas, you create a safe space for open communication and a stronger family bond.
Keep Them in the Loop
Indian in-laws often appreciate being kept in the loop about what's going on in your life. Checking in with them regularly and sharing your thoughts and experiences can go a long way. They will feel valued and respected when you take the time to update them and seek their advice on life decisions or everyday matters.
Ask About Their Preferences
Asking about their preferences and interests is another way to show you care. For example, you could ask about their favourite foods, hobbies, or pastimes. This demonstrates a genuine interest in getting to know them better and can lead to meaningful conversations and shared activities. It also provides an opportunity to create special moments, such as cooking their favourite meal or planning an outing that aligns with their interests.
Be Yourself
While seeking advice from your Indian in-laws, it's important to remember to stay true to yourself. Don't feel like you need to change who you are to impress them. Being authentic and honest will not only make the process more comfortable but also increase the likelihood of building a genuine connection. Your in-laws will appreciate your sincerity and the relationship will be stronger for it.
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Give thoughtful gifts
When choosing gifts for your Indian in-laws, it's important to consider their cultural traditions, interests, hobbies, and occasions they traditionally gift. Here are some thoughtful gift ideas to impress your Indian in-laws:
Traditional Gifts
Indian culture often involves gifting silver items during special occasions, such as a silver jubilee. Consider giving silver photo frames, pen stands, candle holders, or serveware. You could even create a silver gift hamper with silver-plated goods, silver coins, and a velvet-lined storage box. Traditional Indian sweets and snacks, such as dry fruits, can also be a delightful addition to your gift.
Personalised Gifts
Personalised keepsakes demonstrate your thoughtfulness. Consider monogrammed stationery, wood carvings, or custom-framed portraits. You can also gift them an experience they'll cherish, such as taking them to a destination they've always wanted to visit. If they enjoy shopping or have favourite eateries, gift cards are another great option.
Cultural Gifts
Gifts that reflect Indian heritage and culture are always thoughtful choices. Home décor items featuring Indian symbols such as the lotus, peacock, or murals are excellent ideas. An antique brass table lamp or a silver-plated ajraksham lamp can become cherished heirloom pieces.
Luxurious Gifts
Luxurious silk scarves or shawls made from Indian silk are highly prized for their softness and durability. Pure silk sarees with handloom fabric and hand embroidery are also special gifts for Indian women. If your mother-in-law doesn't prefer sarees, a silk suit or a jewellery set can be a good alternative, as jewellery is often passed down through generations in Indian families.
Unique Gifts
If you're from a different cultural background, bringing local products can be a unique and thoughtful gift. For example, if you're from Vermont, you could bring cheddar cheese or maple syrup. Additionally, if there are specific Western or American products that are difficult to find in India, they can be exciting gifts for your in-laws to enjoy.
Remember to float your gift ideas past your partner to ensure they align with your in-laws' tastes and preferences.
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Make their favourite food
Indian food is renowned for its use of herbs and spices, deep-fried snacks, curries, rice dishes, tandoor-cooked meats, chutneys, and flatbreads. Indian food is meant to be shared and enjoyed with others. It is also quite simple to make, and you can always adjust the recipes to your liking.
Samosas
Samosas are a popular Indian snack that can be served during snack time. They are small, crispy, and flaky pastries filled with spiced potatoes or meat and deep-fried. They can be served with chutney or ketchup. You can also make a samosa pie, which is a fun twist on the traditional samosa.
Dal Makhani
This is a rich and authentic Indian dish that requires slow cooking the lentils overnight. It is a time-consuming process, but the end result is worth it.
Shahi Biryani
Biryani is an all-time favourite Indian dish. It is a spicy and aromatic rice dish that is sure to impress your in-laws with its flavourful aroma.
Aloo Gobi
Aloo Gobi is a quintessential Indian curry loaded with soft potatoes and beautifully seasoned cauliflower. It is a vegetarian dish that is sure to satisfy your in-laws' taste buds.
Gajar ka Halwa
No Indian meal is complete without a decadent dessert. Gajar ka Halwa is a special, ghee-laden carrot pudding that will leave your in-laws praising your cooking skills.
Remember, when cooking Indian food, don't be afraid to experiment and adjust the recipes to your liking. Indian food is all about sharing and enjoying a variety of flavours, colours, and textures.
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Frequently asked questions
Indian mother-in-laws are considered both the best and the worst to impress, so here are some tips to help you navigate this relationship:
- Dress well and traditionally.
- Shower her with love and respect.
- Cook her favourite foods and ask her for cooking tips.
- Spend time with her, especially over the weekends.
- Ask for her advice and opinions.
Impressing your in-laws can be daunting, but here are some tips to help you win them over:
- Practice politeness and show interest in getting to know them.
- Dress well and make sure your clothes are clean and presentable.
- Tell them that you enjoyed the food they prepared.
- Respect your partner and avoid fighting or nagging in front of their family.
- Ask for their advice on everyday things.
Bonding with your mother-in-law can be done by:
- Calling her regularly and spending time with her.
- Gifting her thoughtful presents, especially those that align with her interests or collections.
- Doing chores like shopping with her or taking out the trash.
- Checking in on her and keeping her in the loop about your life.
It is important to avoid the following when meeting your in-laws:
- Do not be lazy or give the impression that you are not hardworking.
- Avoid giving your opinion on family matters before knowing all the details.
- Do not make references to intimate moments with your partner.
- Avoid giving an in-depth description of your job.
- Do not wear revealing or inappropriate clothing.
Although most of the advice found was centred around impressing an Indian mother-in-law, here are some general tips that could be applicable to your situation as well:
- Make an effort to connect with him and keep him in the loop.
- Ask for his advice and opinions.
- Prepare and serve his favourite foods.
- Show him respect and be polite.
