Cecily Zamora
Necking is considered a sin in the Mormon Church, as it is believed to be a violation of the law of chastity. The law of chastity, as defined by the Mormon Church, states that individuals should only have sexual relations with their spouses, to whom they are legally married. Necking, along with petting, is believed to be a gateway to other sexual sins, such as fornication, pregnancy, and abortions. According to Mormon beliefs, Satan tempts people to break the law of chastity and engage in necking by encouraging them to believe that unchaste thoughts and feelings are normal and natural.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Definition | "The law of chastity…is that the daughters of Eve and the sons of Adam shall have no sexual intercourse except with their husbands or wives to whom they are legally and lawfully wedded." |
| Temple definition (post-1990) | "The law of chastity is that no woman will have sexual relations except with her husband to whom she is legally and lawfully wedded and that no man will have sexual relations except with his wife to whom he is legally and lawfully wedded." |
| Temple definition (pre-1990) | "The law of chastity is that no woman will have sexual intercourse except with her husband to whom she is legally and lawfully wedded and that no man will have sexual intercourse except with his wife to whom he is legally and lawfully wedded." |
| Church manuals' definition | "We are to have sexual relations only with our spouse to whom we are legally married. No one, male or female, is to have sexual relations before marriage. After marriage, sexual relations are permitted only with our spouse." |
| Law of Chastity in the Bible | "Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage." |
| Sexual sins | "Necking and petting." |
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What You'll Learn
The Law of Chastity is a commandment from God
The law of chastity was given to men and women to help them achieve the kind of purity of heart that Paul spoke of when he said, "Unto the pure all things are pure." Only with a pure heart can one see God.
Chastity is in thought and deed and is not achieved in a day, nor is it a final destination that, once arrived at, needs no other work. It needs constant work on a daily basis. Because it is a spiritual and physical quality, all must work towards keeping thoughts clean and pure.
The law of chastity requires that our thoughts, as well as our actions, be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, "our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God."
Jesus taught, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
Satan is cunning and has many followers that would deceive us. He whispers in our ears that unchaste thoughts and feelings are normal and natural and should be expressed in the name of love or desire. Satan would have us claim that purity is old-fashioned and that educated men and women today should rid themselves of freedom-inhibiting notions about the sacredness of sex.
The dictionary defines chastity as virtuousness, sexual abstinence, and decency or modesty.
The law of chastity is that we are to have sexual relations only with our spouse to whom we are legally married. No one, male or female, is to have sexual relations before marriage. After marriage, sexual relations are permitted only with our spouse.
We have been taught that the law of chastity encompasses more than sexual intercourse. The First Presidency warned young people of other sexual sins:
> Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.
Among the most common sexual sins that young people commit are necking and petting. Not only do these improper relations often lead to fornication, pregnancy, and abortions – all ugly sins – but in and of themselves they are pernicious evils, and it is often difficult for youth to distinguish where one ends and another begins. They awaken lust and stir evil thoughts and sex desires. They are but parts of the whole family of related sins and indiscretions.
Satan wants us to break the law of chastity. Satan's plan is to deceive as many of us as he can to prevent us from returning to live with our Heavenly Father. One of the most damaging things he can do is entice us to break the law of chastity. He is cunning and powerful. He would like us to believe it is no sin to break this law. Many people have been deceived. We must guard ourselves against evil influences.
Satan attacks the standards of modesty. He wants us to believe that because the human body is beautiful, it is something to flaunt and expose. Our Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bodies covered so that we do not encourage improper thoughts in the minds of others.
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts.
Breaking the Law of Chastity Is Extremely Serious. Unchastity is next to murder in seriousness.
It is extremely important to our Heavenly Father that His children obey the law of chastity. Members of the Church who break this law or influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline.
Those Who Break the Law of Chastity Can Be Forgiven. Peace can come to those who have broken the law of chastity. The Lord tells us, "If the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, … all his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him." Peace comes only through forgiveness.
For many people, confession is the most difficult part of repentance. We must confess not only to the Lord but also to the person we have offended, such as a husband or wife, and to the proper priesthood authority. The priesthood leader (bishop or stake president) will judge our standing in the Church. The Lord told Alma, "Whosoever transgresseth against me … if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also."
But President Kimball warned: "Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. … We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness."
Those Who Keep the Law of Chastity Are Greatly Blessed. When we obey the law of chastity, we can live without guilt or shame. Our lives and our children's lives are blessed when we keep ourselves pure and spotless before the Lord. Children can look to our example and follow in our footsteps.
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Satan wants us to break the Law of Chastity
Satan is a deceiver and has many followers that would deceive us. He would have us believe that the commandments of God are "outdated" and that they were given to the children of Israel and no longer apply. But the law of chastity is still a commandment and applies today just as much as it did for the children of Israel. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, so there will never be a "new morality."
Satan attacks the standards of modesty. He wants us to believe that because the human body is beautiful, it is something to flaunt and expose. Our Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bodies covered so that we do not encourage improper thoughts in the minds of others. Satan encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts, as well as our actions, be pure.
Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed, and he chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed.
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The Law of Chastity is about more than just sexual intercourse
The Law of Chastity requires that sexual relations be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. It is about being completely faithful to one's spouse after marriage and having no sexual relations before marriage. It is about not participating in passionate kissing, lying on top of another person, or touching the private, sacred parts of another person's body, with or without clothing. It is about not doing anything else that arouses sexual feelings and not arousing those emotions in one's own body.
The Law of Chastity is about seeking the Spirit and praying regularly to Heavenly Father. It is about confessing one's sins and repenting. It is about not being misled by Satan's lies and finding lasting happiness in morality. It is about increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for marital partners, and a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness.
The Law of Chastity is about making positive and constructive choices and filling one's life with righteous activities that bring spiritual power. It is about immersing oneself in the scriptures and daily prayer. It is about fasting for specific strength or special blessings. It is about Christian service, church attendance, and service in the kingdom. It is about living a pure and virtuous life and feeling closer to the influence of the Holy Ghost.
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Breaking the Law of Chastity is extremely serious
If a man and a woman break the law of chastity and conceive a child, they may be tempted to commit another abominable sin: abortion. There is seldom any justifiable reason for abortion. Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer.
It is extremely important to our Heavenly Father that His children obey the law of chastity. Members of the Church who break this law or influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline.
Satan is cunning and has many followers that would deceive us. He whispers in our ears that unchaste thoughts and feelings are normal; they are natural and should be expressed in the name of love or desire. Satan would have us claim that purity is old-fashioned and that educated men and women today should rid themselves of freedom-inhibiting notions about the sacredness of sex. After all, his followers will tell us, that we are living in an enlightened age; we need to change with the times and "everyone is doing it."
Satan's plan is to deceive as many of us as he can to prevent us from returning to live with our Heavenly Father. One of the most damaging things he can do is entice us to break the law of chastity. He is cunning and powerful. He would like us to believe it is no sin to break this law. Many people have been deceived. We must guard ourselves against evil influences.
Satan attacks the standards of modesty. He wants us to believe that because the human body is beautiful, it is something to flaunt and expose. Our Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bodies covered so that we do not encourage improper thoughts in the minds of others.
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts as well as our actions be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, "our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God" (Alma 12:14).
Jesus taught, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).
President Gordon B. Hinckley warned: "You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don't need this, and neither do the girls" (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71-72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).
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Those who break the Law of Chastity can be forgiven
The law of chastity is a serious matter in the eyes of the Lord. It is defined as "We are to have sexual relations only with our spouse to whom we are legally married. No one, male or female, is to have sexual relations before marriage. After marriage, sexual relations are permitted only with our spouse."
However, those who break the law of chastity can be forgiven. The Lord tells us, "If the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, ... all his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him" (Ezekiel 18:21–22). Peace comes only through forgiveness.
President Kimball said: "To every forgiveness there is a condition. ... The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin. There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit. ... There must be tears and genuine change of heart. There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord" (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 353).
For many people, confession is the most difficult part of repentance. We must confess not only to the Lord but also to the person we have offended, such as a husband or wife, and to the proper priesthood authority. The priesthood leader (bishop or stake president) will judge our standing in the Church. The Lord told Alma, "Whosoever transgresseth against me ... if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also" (Mosiah 26:29).
But President Kimball warned: "Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. ... We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness" (The Miracle of Forgiveness, 353, 360). Those who receive forgiveness and then repeat the sin are held accountable for their former sins (see D&C 82:7; Ether 2:15).
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Frequently asked questions
Necking is considered a sin as it is a gateway to other sexual sins and can lead to immoral behaviour.
Yes, necking is considered a serious sin as it is a gateway to other sexual sins and can lead to immoral behaviour.
Necking can lead to guilt and shame and can cause one to become fearful that their sins will be discovered. It can also lead to bitterness, jealousy, anger and hate.
One can stop necking by deciding to be chaste, controlling one's thoughts, praying for the power to resist temptation and avoiding being alone with members of the opposite sex.
