Keith Mack
Marriage in Judaism is a complex topic, with various interpretations and requirements depending on the specific sect and its adherence to traditional Jewish Law, or Halakha. In general, marriage is considered a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman, not requiring the presence of a rabbi or other religious officials, although their involvement is common. The minimum age for marriage is 13 for boys and 12 for girls, with the Talmud recommending marriage by 18 years old. There are numerous prohibitions on marriage, including those related to consanguinity, such as incest and adultery, as well as restrictions on interfaith marriages. While Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism permit more flexibility in interpretation, Orthodox Judaism adheres strictly to historical attitudes, refusing to recognize interfaith marriages as valid.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Minimum age for marriage | Boys: 13, Girls: 12 |
| Recommended age for marriage | 18 years or between 16 and 24 |
| Marrying without a rabbi | Allowed |
| Marrying without parental consent | Allowed |
| Interfaith marriage | Not allowed, unless the non-Jew converts to Judaism |
| Intermarriage within the Jewish community | Allowed |
| Same-sex marriage | Allowed |
| Divorce | Allowed |
| Marriage without a ring | Allowed |
| Kiddushin | Betrothal ceremony |
| Nisuin or Chupah | Actual wedding ceremony |
| Erusin | Groom hands an object of value to the bride |
| Nissu'in | Legal consequences of the change of circumstances |
| Ketubah | A marriage contract |
| Get | Document of divorce |
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What You'll Learn
Interfaith marriages are not recognised by Jewish law
Marriage in Judaism consists of two parts: the betrothal ceremony (kiddushin) and the wedding ceremony (nisuin or chupah). According to Jewish law, a marriage can only be effected between two Jews, and a marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew is not recognised as a valid marriage. This is derived from the Talmud, which states that a Jew cannot marry a non-Jew unless the non-Jewish partner converts to Judaism.
The Hebrew Bible contains numerous laws restricting or forbidding interethnic and interfaith marriages. Ancient Israelites were forbidden from marrying individuals from the Seven Nations residing within the Land of Israel. However, they were permitted to marry foreign female prisoners of war under certain conditions: the women could not be from cities within the Land of Israel, and the captive woman had to be a virgin and mourn her absent parents for a month before marriage.
In medieval Europe, Christian rulers prohibited marriages between Jews and Christians, often under penalty of death. Over time, these restrictions were lifted, and interfaith marriages involving Jews became more common. In 1807, Napoleon's Grand Sanhedrin declared that such marriages were civilly valid but not recognised under Jewish law.
Orthodox Judaism adheres strictly to historic attitudes towards intermarriage, refusing to accept intermarriages as valid and forbidding sexual intercourse with a member of a different faith. Orthodox rabbis do not officiate at interfaith weddings and generally avoid facilitating them. However, Reform Judaism and Reconstructionist Judaism permit personal autonomy in interpreting Jewish Law, and intermarriage is not forbidden. Many rabbis from these movements seek agreement from the couple that any children will be raised as Jewish.
In Israel, the only entities authorised to perform weddings are religious authorities, and they are not permitted to marry couples if both partners do not share the same religion. Civil, interfaith, and same-sex marriages entered into abroad are recognised by the state. In 2010, Israel passed the Civil Union Law for Citizens with no Religious Affiliation, allowing couples to form a civil union if both partners are registered as officially having no religion.
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A marriage contract (kesubah) must be drawn up before marriage
A marriage contract, or kesubah, is a fundamental component of Jewish marriage law. The kesubah outlines the groom's obligations to his bride and is a prerequisite for marriage. The groom must provide this contract before the wedding, setting out the terms of the marriage and the financial consequences in the event of divorce or the death of either spouse.
The kesubah is an ancient tradition, with roots in the Torah, and is considered a sacred document that establishes the rights and responsibilities of both parties. It is a legally binding agreement that safeguards the bride's interests and ensures she receives financial support from her husband during their marriage and, if necessary, after their divorce or his death.
The contract stipulates that the husband must provide his wife with food, clothing, shelter, and other basic necessities. It also grants the wife ownership of her earnings, findings, and profits from her property, which she may keep even after marriage. Additionally, the husband agrees to provide medical care for his wife if she becomes ill and to ransom her if she is captured.
In the unfortunate event of divorce, the wife is entitled to the value stated in the kesubah. However, if she is divorced "for cause," such as infidelity, she may not collect this amount. The kesubah also outlines the inheritance rights of the wife's children by her husband, who are entitled to receive support from his estate until they come of age.
The kesubah is a critical document in Jewish marriage, ensuring the financial security of the bride and establishing the responsibilities of the groom. It is a testament to the seriousness of the marriage covenant and serves as a reminder of the couple's commitment to each other and their mutual obligations.
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A woman's consent is required for betrothal
Marriage in Judaism is a contractual agreement between a man and a woman. It is a private agreement and does not require the presence of a rabbi or any other religious official. However, it is common for rabbis to officiate at weddings.
The woman's consent is required for betrothal. The Mishna taught: "The woman is acquired, from which it may be inferred that with her consent, yes, he can acquire her as a wife, but when he acts without her consent, no, she is not betrothed to him." (Kiddushin 2b). The only time parents were involved was if the woman was a minor at the time of betrothal. Once she reached adulthood, her parents could no longer marry her off.
The father may betroth his minor and maiden daughter to a Jewish man without her consent, but if she is subsequently divorced or widowed as a minor, she is considered an orphan in his lifetime and he no longer has the right to marry her off.
There are two parts to a Jewish wedding: the kiddushin (betrothal ceremony) and the nissu'in (the actual wedding ceremony). In ancient times, these two ceremonies would take place separately, sometimes up to a year apart. Today, they are usually combined into one ceremony.
The kiddushin is the central moment of the wedding. The groom gives the bride an object worth more than one peruta (a small unit of value), and this has become the custom of giving a ring. The man places the ring on the woman's finger and says: "Be sanctified to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel." After the kiddushin, the ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud in Aramaic, and then signed by two witnesses.
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A man must provide for his wife
In Jewish law, marriage is a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman. The Talmud recommends that a man marry at the age of 18, or somewhere between 16 and 24. The minimum age for marriage is 13 for boys and 12 for girls. However, the kiddushin, or betrothal ceremony, can take place before that and often did in medieval times.
The rabbis urge great care in the choice of a wife. According to R. Akiba, a man who marries a wife that is unworthy of him transgresses five Biblical commandments. It is forbidden for parents to give their children in marriage before they have reached the age of puberty.
A man is required to provide for his wife in several ways. Firstly, he must give her a marriage contract (kesubah) worth at least 200 pieces of silver (or 100 if she is not a virgin) each weighing 96 grains of barley. This contract ensures that divorcing her is not a light matter. Secondly, he must provide her with food, clothing, shelter, furniture, utensils, and ornaments. He must also have normal marital relations with her. The sages instituted that he must provide medical services if she is sick, ransom her if she is captured, and give her a funeral if she dies.
If a man's wife has not conceived after ten years or if she miscarries repeatedly, he should take another wife. Every man is required to have children (at least one son and one daughter), as it says, "Be fruitful and increase".
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Marriage is a private contractual agreement
In Jewish law, marriage is a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman. It does not require the presence of a rabbi or any other religious official. However, it is common for rabbis to officiate, partly in imitation of Christian practices and partly because civil law in some countries, such as the United States, requires the presence of a religious or civil official.
The ketubah, a standard marriage contract, is an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage. It outlines the groom's obligations to the bride, including providing her with food, clothing, and shelter, as well as a fixed sum of money, usually from the sale of his property, in the event of divorce or his death. The ketubah is signed by two witnesses, usually upstanding Jewish male adults who follow the Torah, and is traditionally read aloud during the wedding ceremony. It is considered a daily reminder of the couple's vows and responsibilities to each other and is often displayed prominently in their home.
The minimum age for marriage under Jewish law is 13 for boys and 12 for girls, although the betrothal ceremony (kiddushin) can take place before that, as it often did in medieval times. The Talmud recommends that men marry between the ages of 18 and 24. There are several prohibited marriages outlined in Jewish law, including marriages between certain close blood relatives and marriages to a woman who has not been validly divorced from her previous husband. The offspring of such marriages are considered illegitimate and are subject to various restrictions.
While Orthodox Judaism does not recognize civil law as overriding religious law and does not view civil divorce as sufficient, Reform Judaism and Reconstructionist Judaism permit personal autonomy in interpreting Jewish law, including in performing marriages between Jewish and non-Jewish partners.
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Frequently asked questions
The minimum age for marriage under Jewish law is 13 for boys and 12 for girls. However, the Talmud recommends that a man marry at 18 or somewhere between 16 and 24.
A Jewish wedding consists of two separate acts: the betrothal ceremony (kiddushin) and the actual wedding ceremony (nissuin or chupah). For the kiddushin, the rabbi recites a blessing over the wine and acknowledges forbidden and permitted relationships in Jewish law. The couple then drinks from the cup, and the man places a ring on the woman's finger, saying, "Be sanctified to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel."
Marriages between certain close relatives are prohibited, as well as marriages to a woman who has not been validly divorced from her previous husband or the daughter/granddaughter of an ex-wife. Interfaith marriages, or marriages between a Jew and a non-Jew, are also prohibited and considered void unless the non-Jew converts to Judaism.
While marriage under Jewish law is a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman, and does not require the presence of a rabbi, it is common for rabbis to officiate. The Central Conference of American Rabbis supports the right of gay and lesbian couples to marry and for rabbis to officiate at same-sex marriages.
In a Jewish marriage, the husband is expected to provide his wife with food, clothing, shelter, and normal marital relations. He is also responsible for providing medical services if she is sick, ransoming her if she is captured, and giving her a funeral if she dies. In return, he owns anything she makes or earns, anything she finds, and keeps all profits from her property.
