Cecily Zamora
Dealing with challenging individuals in our lives is never easy, especially when they are close to us. This could be a spouse, in-laws, extended family, neighbours, or friends. When all efforts to improve the situation seem to fail, and ending the relationship is not an option, it can feel like being trapped. For example, in-laws can cause issues, as seen in the case of a gay couple whose parents were not accepting of their relationship. In-laws can also cause issues through rejection or criticism, which can lead to the breakdown of marriages. When faced with such situations, it is important to acknowledge the reality of the other person, address your own reactions and fears, and focus on personal growth.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| You can't get close to your in-laws | Accepting the reality of the other person |
| Challenging the belief that pressure motivates change | |
| Apologizing for past attempts to force change | |
| Acknowledging your role in the system | |
| Working towards independent strength | |
| Examining your own reactions and fears | |
| Focusing on personal growth | |
| Your in-laws reject you | You can't change them, work on your peace |
| Acknowledge the reality that it's hurtful, but difficult things in life help us grow | |
| Understand that you have the ability and strength to use this situation to become stronger and more resilient |
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What You'll Learn
You have the right to remain silent
"You have the right to remain silent" is a part of the Miranda warning, which is a preventive criminal procedure rule that law enforcement officers are required to administer to protect individuals in custody from violating their Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. This right is also referred to as the Fifth Amendment right against compelled self-incrimination. This means that if you are in custody, you have the right to refuse to answer questions or otherwise communicate information that may be used against you in a court of law.
The Miranda warning also includes the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before any questioning begins and to have a lawyer present during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time until you speak to a lawyer.
It is important to note that the Miranda warning only applies in certain circumstances, specifically when an individual is in custody and subject to interrogation. Custody refers to formal arrest or the deprivation of freedom to an extent associated with formal arrest, while interrogation refers to explicit questioning or actions that are reasonably likely to elicit an incriminating response.
Some jurisdictions, such as Indiana, New Jersey, Nevada, Oklahoma, and Alaska, have modified the "providing an attorney" clause. Their clause states: "We have no way of giving you a lawyer, but one will be appointed for you, if you wish, if and when you go to court." This sentence has been approved by the U.S. Supreme Court as an accurate description of the procedure in those states.
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You have the right to a government-appointed lawyer if you can't afford one
In the United States, the Sixth Amendment guarantees that anyone accused in a criminal trial has the right to legal assistance for their defence. This means that if you cannot afford a lawyer, you have the right to a government-appointed lawyer.
For a long time, this right only meant that if you could hire a lawyer, the government could not prevent you from having that legal assistance. Later, this evolved to mean that the government had to provide lawyers to those who could not afford them, but only in federal courts. In the 1963 case of Gideon v. Wainwright, the Supreme Court ruled that people facing felony charges in state courts also had the right to legal assistance. The Argersinger v. Hamlin case in 1972 further expanded this right to all people facing any loss of liberty.
If you are facing criminal charges and cannot afford a lawyer, you can request the appointment of a public defender when you first appear in court. The court will then decide if you are "indigent", meaning you have few assets and no funds to pay an attorney. If you are deemed indigent, either a private lawyer will be appointed by the court and paid with county funds, or a public defender program will be appointed to represent you. Some public defender programs may charge a small "application fee".
In non-criminal or "civil" cases, you do not have the right to a free lawyer, but there are many legal aid and pro bono programs that provide free legal help for low-income individuals in these cases. Legal aid offices employ staff lawyers who are experts in the types of problems that poor clients often encounter. Pro bono programs, often sponsored by state or local bar associations, help low-income people find volunteer lawyers who are willing to handle their cases for free.
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Do not resist arrest, even if unfair
It is important to remember that resisting arrest, even if you believe it is unfair, can lead to additional charges and penalties. Resisting arrest covers a broad range of acts, and the definition varies across states. Some states count any refusal to obey orders as resisting, while others require a physical act or threat. Even passive actions like pulling away from an officer's grip, going limp, or stiffening your body can be considered resisting arrest. If you resist an arrest that is deemed lawful, you could face charges for resisting arrest, which can be classified as a misdemeanor or felony depending on the circumstances.
It is crucial to understand that just because an arrest is unfair does not mean it is unlawful. To make a lawful arrest, an officer needs probable cause, which is a lower standard than what is needed for a conviction. Probable cause means the officer has probable cause to believe that a crime was committed. Therefore, even if you are innocent, your innocence does not make the arrest illegal.
In some states, individuals have the right to resist an unlawful arrest by using a reasonable amount of force to prevent or stop the arrest. However, this is a complex issue, and getting it wrong can result in criminal charges and serious injuries. It can be dangerous to resist an arrest, even an illegal one, as circumstances can escalate quickly.
Instead of resisting arrest, it is recommended to follow the officers' commands and not exhibit hostility towards them. You have the right to remain silent and do not have to answer questions about your citizenship or how you entered the country. You can also refuse to consent to a search of yourself or your belongings. Additionally, you have the right to observe and record events that are plainly visible in public spaces, as long as you do not interfere with the officers' activities or obstruct their movements.
If you believe your arrest was unfair, you can file a written complaint with the agency's internal affairs division or a civilian complaint board. You can also contact a criminal defense attorney who practices in your state to understand your specific rights and options.
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Write down everything if stopped by the police
An encounter with the police can be a stressful and scary experience. It is important to remember that it is never your responsibility to de-escalate an encounter with law enforcement—that responsibility lies with the police officers involved. While you may reduce the risk to your safety by staying calm, choosing your words carefully, and keeping your hands visible, it is important to note that people have been injured or killed in such encounters, even after attempting to put an officer at ease.
If you are driving, you are required to provide your driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance upon request. You are not, however, obligated to answer any questions or provide any information beyond this. You have the right to remain silent and cannot be arrested or detained for refusing to answer questions. You should say something along the lines of, "I am exercising my right to remain silent."
If you are arrested, you have the right to make a local phone call. The police cannot listen in if you call a lawyer, but they may listen if you call anyone else. It is important to remember that police are legally allowed to lie, intimidate, and bluff, and they may arrest you for refusing to comply with their orders, even if those orders are illegal.
In the event of an encounter with the police, it is advisable to write down everything you remember as soon as possible. This includes the officers' names, badge numbers, patrol car numbers, and the law enforcement agency they belong to. Additionally, make a note of any weapons used, what was said, and any physical actions taken. If there are witnesses present, try to obtain their contact information as well. If you are injured during the encounter, seek medical attention immediately and take photographs of your injuries. You can then file a written complaint with the agency's internal affairs division or civilian complaint board.
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You can file a complaint against the police
If you have a complaint against a police officer or any law enforcement agency, you can take several steps to address the issue. Firstly, it is important to understand the nature of your complaint and the appropriate channels to follow. Complaints can range from allegations of criminal misconduct to non-criminal misconduct, including police brutality, abuse of rights, or discrimination. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to file a complaint against the police:
Identify the Appropriate Channel:
The specific process for filing a complaint may vary depending on your location and the nature of your complaint. In California, for example, complaints against a police officer or sheriff's deputy should initially be directed to the local law enforcement agency. Each agency is required to establish a procedure to investigate complaints, and you can obtain a written description of these procedures.
Contact the Relevant Agency:
You can submit a complaint form, make a verbal complaint, or call the agency to request that a form be mailed to you. Complaint forms can be submitted via fax, hand delivery, email, or online platforms. Some agencies may also accept anonymous complaints, particularly under an Auditor/Monitor/Ombudsman model. However, it is important to note that specific incidents requiring investigation might necessitate the complainant's identity.
Provide Detailed Information:
When filing a complaint, ensure you provide as much detailed information as possible. Include specific dates, times, locations, and the names of any witnesses. If there is any physical evidence, such as photos, videos, or medical reports, be sure to include those as well. The more comprehensive your complaint is, the easier it will be for the investigating agency to conduct a thorough investigation.
Follow up with the County District Attorney:
If your complaint involves alleging that a law enforcement officer committed a crime, and it is not resolved by the local law enforcement agency, you should contact the county district attorney in the relevant county. They have the authority to review and take action on unresolved complaints.
Contact the Attorney General's Office:
If your complaint still remains unresolved after a reasonable period, you may escalate the matter to the Attorney General's Office. They can intervene and review cases where local agencies have failed to act. Additionally, under the Civil Rights of Institutionalized Persons Act, the Attorney General can file suit on behalf of inmates to redress systematic deprivations of their constitutional rights.
Reach out to External Organizations:
In cases of police brutality, abuse of rights, or discrimination, you can contact external organizations for assistance. Reach out to the nearest office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) or write to the Department of Justice. You can also file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division, which handles cases of discrimination based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, or age.
It is important to remember that the process of filing a complaint against the police should be accessible and straightforward. Your rights as a citizen are important, and there are multiple avenues available to ensure your voice is heard and your complaint is addressed.
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Frequently asked questions
Stay calm and follow the officers' commands. You do not have to answer any questions about where you are going, where you are travelling from, what you are doing, or where you live. You have the right to remain silent and ask for a lawyer.
Do not run, resist, or obstruct the officers. Keep your hands where the police can see them. Say you wish to remain silent and ask for a lawyer immediately. Do not sign anything without a lawyer.
Yes, you can call a lawyer, but the police do not have to listen or step away while you do so. They can listen to a call made to anyone else.
Seek medical attention immediately and take photographs of your injuries. File a written complaint with the agency's internal affairs division or civilian complaint board. You can file a complaint anonymously in most cases.
