Gavin Howe
The idea of marrying one's brother-in-law may be considered unusual or even taboo in some cultures and religions. In Islamic law (Sharia) and Jewish law (halakha), for instance, sexual relations between siblings-in-law are prohibited as incestuous unless the spouse is no longer in the picture. However, in Judaism, there was a custom called yibbum, where a man had the option to marry his deceased brother's childless widow. In the Bible, there is also a passage that suggests a similar practice. While it may be uncommon, marrying one's brother-in-law is not prohibited by law as long as there is no blood relation, and it is more common than one might think.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Legality | In most places, it is legal to marry your brother-in-law as long as there is no blood relation. |
| Religious Views | In Islamic law (Sharia) and Jewish law (halakha), sexual relations between siblings-in-law are prohibited as incestuous, unless the spouse is no longer married. In Judaism, there was a custom of yibbum, where a man had a duty to wed his deceased brother's childless widow. |
| Social Views | Some people may view it as taboo or weird. However, others argue that it is more common than people think, and it is simply a matter of personal choice. |
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What You'll Learn
Is it legal to marry your brother-in-law?
Marrying one's brother-in-law is not illegal in the United States, as long as there is no direct blood relation. In other words, it is legal to marry your sibling's spouse or your spouse's sibling, assuming that all other legal requirements for marriage are met. These requirements include being of legal age to marry (18 in most places), having mental capacity, and not being married to someone else.
However, it is important to note that incest laws vary from state to state in the US, and while marrying one's brother-in-law is not considered incest, marrying a close blood relative is illegal in all states. These laws are in place to protect public health, family structures, and prevent genetic disorders. For example, Texas has strict incest laws, with those found guilty facing felony charges and significant prison time. New York has also recently tightened its incest laws, increasing fines and jail sentences in certain cases.
In some cultures and religions, marrying a sibling-in-law is prohibited. For instance, in Islamic law (Sharia) and Jewish law (halakha), sexual relations between siblings-in-law are considered incestuous unless the spouse is no longer married. However, in Judaism, there was a custom called yibbum, where a man had a non-obligatory duty to wed his deceased brother's childless widow.
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Is it common to marry your brother-in-law?
Marrying one's brother-in-law or sister-in-law is not unheard of, and it is more common than one might think. People who spend a lot of time together often fall for each other. While it is not the norm and might raise some eyebrows, it is not considered taboo. In fact, in some cultures, it was customary to marry one's deceased brother's widow. For example, in Judaism, there was a custom called yibbum, where a man had a non-obligatory duty to wed his deceased brother's childless widow so that she might have progeny by him. In Islamic law (Sharia) and Jewish law (halakha), sexual relations between siblings-in-law are prohibited as incestuous unless the spouse is no longer married.
In Indian English, the wife of one's sibling-in-law is called a co-sister, and the husband of one's sibling-in-law is called a co-brother. These terms refer to the reciprocal relationship between a person's spouse and their sibling's spouse. These relationships are not related by blood, but rather by a type of kinship called affinity, similar to other in-law relationships.
Legally, there is no prohibition against marrying one's sister-in-law's younger brother, as long as both parties are of legal age (18 in most places) or have parental permission, are not presently married to someone else, and are mentally competent.
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What does the Bible say about marrying your brother-in-law?
The Bible contains several references to levirate marriage, a custom in which a man is expected to marry his brother's widow. The word levirate comes from the Latin word levir, meaning "a husband's brother".
In ancient times, if a man died without a child, it was common for the man's brother to marry the widow in order to provide an heir for the deceased. The first son produced in that union was considered the legal descendant of her dead husband.
The Bible provides examples of levirate marriage in the stories of Tamar and Onan in Genesis 38, and Ruth and Boaz. In the story of Tamar and Onan, Tamar was first married to Er, a son of Judah. When Er died, leaving Tamar childless, Judah told Onan, Er's brother, "Sleep with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother" (Genesis 38:8).
Levirate marriage became part of the Law in Deuteronomy 25:5–6, where the Israelites are commanded to care for women whose husbands died before they had children. An unmarried brother of the deceased man was expected to marry his sister-in-law, as God called it "the duty of a brother-in-law" (Deuteronomy 25:5). God's purpose for levirate marriage is stated in Deuteronomy 25:6: "The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel."
However, it is important to note that Leviticus states that marrying one's brother's wife is forbidden and carries the divine punishment of infertility (Leviticus 20:21). The verse from Deuteronomy presents an exception to this rule, allowing the marriage if the brother died childless.
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What does Islamic law say about marrying your brother-in-law?
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In the case of a brother-in-law, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade non-Mahrams (unrelated men) to enter upon women, stating: "Beware of entering upon women." When asked about the brother-in-law, he said: "The brother-in-law is death!"
Scholars interpret this warning to mean that a brother-in-law coming near his brother's wife resembles death in repulsiveness and mafsadah (cause of corruption and evil). This could be due to similarities in looks and character, or the development of romantic feelings. Such cases could lead to significant problems, including the end of the marriage, the metaphorical "death" of the wife's modesty and religiosity, or even stoning if adultery occurs.
Therefore, it is considered incumbent upon the husband to prevent his brother from entering upon or being alone with his wife. If they live in the same house, a locked door should separate their quarters, and the husband should keep the key.
Regarding marrying a brother-in-law's sister, there is no explicit prohibition in Islamic law. However, one should consider all milk, blood, and in-law relationships to ensure that no existing route prohibits the marriage.
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What does Jewish law say about marrying your brother-in-law?
Levirate marriage, or yibbum, is the form of marriage in Judaism where a widow marries her husband's brother. The word levirate comes from the Latin word levir, meaning "a husband's brother". The practice of levirate marriage is found in Deuteronomy 25:5-10, which states that when a married man dies childless, his widow and his brother must perform either yibbum or halizah. The purpose of this commandment was to have the surviving brother produce an heir to perpetuate the name of his dead brother, so that it would not "be blotted out of Israel". The offspring of the levirate union were seen as a perpetuation of the deceased brother's name.
The obligation of levirate marriage fell on the eldest surviving brother. The brother-in-law is called the Yavam, and the widow is called the Yevamah. Levirate marriage was also a way to protect the widow, as it guaranteed her a new family, enhanced status, and financial resources.
However, in modern times, levirate marriage has fallen out of favour in Judaism and is more or less an extinct practice. In most contemporary Jewish communities, and in Israel by mandate of the Chief Rabbinate, yibbum is prohibited. Instead, the ceremony of chalitzah, or halizah, is performed, where the widow and her brother-in-law are freed from the obligation of yibbum. The chalitzah ceremony involves a symbolic act of renunciation of their right to perform the marriage. The widow must undergo the chalitzah ceremony before she is permitted to marry someone else.
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Frequently asked questions
A brother-in-law is the brother of your spouse.
A sibling-in-law is the spouse of your sibling or the sibling of your spouse.
In most places, there is no prohibition against marrying your brother-in-law, as long as there is no blood relation.
In some cultures and religions, such as Islamic law (Sharia) and Jewish law (halakha), sexual relations between siblings-in-law are prohibited as incestuous. However, in Judaism, there was a custom called yibbum, where a man had a non-obligatory duty to wed his deceased brother's childless widow.
It is important to consider the potential social and family dynamics that may arise from marrying your brother-in-law. Additionally, it is essential to ensure that you meet the legal requirements for marriage, such as being of legal age and having the mental capacity to consent.
