Mother-In-Law's Baby Shower: A Unique Celebration

Baby showers are a time to celebrate the arrival of a new baby and give gifts to the mother-to-be. Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers, as having a member of the immediate family host could appear self-serving. However, times have changed, and it is now considered acceptable for a mother-in-law to host a baby shower, especially if the mother-to-be lives away from her hometown and wants to include her longtime friends in the celebration. If the mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute her time or money, but if she is a guest, her only job is to bring a gift and be supportive.

Baby shower hosts: Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers. Today, it is considered acceptable for anyone to host

Baby showers are a time to celebrate the impending arrival of a new child and to give gifts to the mother-to-be. Traditionally, baby showers were hosted by close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother-to-be. This is because, as gift-giving events, having a member of the honoree's immediate family host could appear self-serving.

However, today it is considered acceptable for anyone to host a baby shower, as long as there is a legitimate reason. For example, if the mother-to-be lives away from her hometown, her mother or sister may want to host a shower so that long-time friends can attend. Another reason for this shift in tradition is that people are more mobile nowadays, so there are many reasons to host baby showers in different communities.

If a mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute to the baby shower, whether that be with her time or money. If she is a guest, her role is simply to show up with a gift and be supportive of the mother-to-be. It is the hostesses' responsibility to cover any expenses associated with hosting the baby shower. There are no requirements under baby shower etiquette for the mother-in-law to pay any amount towards the baby shower if she is not one of the hostesses, although she may offer money or other help.

Baby shower hosts and hostesses may choose to forego the typical games in favour of other activities. It is a good idea to ask the expecting mother what she thinks about games and what she would like to do. Typically, gifts are opened during the shower, but this is changing, especially if the expecting mother feels shy about it or if there are lots of guests and gifts, making it a long process.

Mother-in-law as a hostess: If the mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute her time or money. If she is a guest, her role is to bring a gift and be supportive

It is important to establish the role of the mother-in-law in the context of the baby shower. If she is a hostess, she should be prepared to contribute her time or money to the event. This could involve organising the guest list, sending out invitations, and covering any expenses associated with hosting, such as food, drinks, or decorations.

On the other hand, if the mother-in-law is a guest, her role is much simpler. She should bring a gift for the mother-to-be and be supportive and celebratory. As a guest, the mother-in-law is not expected to contribute financially or take on any organisational responsibilities.

Traditionally, baby showers were hosted by close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother-to-be, rather than immediate family members. This was to avoid the appearance of self-serving gift-grabbing. However, times have changed, and today, it is generally considered acceptable for anyone to host a baby shower, including the mother-in-law, provided there is a legitimate reason. For example, if the mother-to-be lives far from her hometown, her mother-in-law may want to host a shower so that long-time friends can attend.

If the mother-in-law is the hostess, it is essential to maintain open communication with the mother-to-be to ensure that the event aligns with her preferences and comfort level. For instance, some expecting mothers may feel shy about opening gifts during the shower, so it is worth discussing this tradition and whether the mother-to-be would prefer an alternative approach.

Additionally, as baby showers are intimate affairs, it is crucial to consider the comfort level of all involved. If anyone, including the mother-in-law, feels uncomfortable hosting or participating in certain activities, it is beneficial to have open conversations about these concerns. Ultimately, the baby shower should be a positive and supportive experience for all, with the focus on celebrating the upcoming arrival of the little one.

Baby shower etiquette: Formal etiquette states that close family members of the parents-to-be should not host a baby shower. This is to avoid the appearance of simply wanting to collect gifts

Baby showers are a time-honoured tradition, but the rules and etiquette surrounding them have evolved over time. While it was once considered poor form for close family members to host a baby shower, this is no longer the case. In the past, it was believed that having an immediate family member as the host could give the impression that the event was merely a gift-grabbing exercise. However, with the rise of mobile lifestyles and changing family dynamics, it has become acceptable for anyone to host a baby shower, provided there is a valid reason. For example, if expectant parents live far from their hometown, their mothers or siblings might host a shower so that long-time friends can attend.

That being said, hosting a baby shower is not without its financial responsibilities. The host is typically expected to cover the expenses associated with the event, although co-hosting with one or two others is a great way to split costs and planning duties. It is also important to consider the timing of the shower, usually held during the third trimester, around four to eight weeks before the baby's due date. This gives the expectant parents enough time to prepare the nursery and purchase any remaining items.

While baby showers are traditionally women-only events, this idea is becoming outdated. Today, baby showers are increasingly inclusive of all genders, allowing everyone to join in the celebration and play baby shower games. The guest list should ultimately be adapted to the wishes and needs of the expecting parent(s). It is also worth noting that baby showers are not a requirement for a baby to be loved or celebrated. If there is no one to host a shower, a ""come meet the baby" get-together is a nice alternative, and guests will likely still bring a gift.

When it comes to gifts and registries, opinions vary. Some consider creating a "shopping list" for friends and family to be greedy, while others appreciate the guidance on what to buy for the parents-to-be. If a registry is created, it is generally considered rude to include this information on the baby shower invitation. Instead, hosts typically provide this information on a separate slip of paper or let interested guests inquire about it. While giving the host a gift is not required, it is a thoughtful gesture, and a thank-you note is always appreciated.

Gifts: Baby showers are a time to celebrate the expected child and give gifts to the mother-to-be. Gifts are typically opened during the shower

Baby showers are a time to celebrate the expected child and shower the mother-to-be with gifts and well-wishes. Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother host the baby shower, as gifts are central to the celebration and having a member of the honoree's immediate family host may appear self-serving. However, today, it is considered appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower, including the mother-in-law, as long as there is a legitimate reason. If the mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute her time or money to the event. If she is a guest, her role is simply to bring a gift and be supportive of the mother-to-be.

Gifts are typically opened during the baby shower, and it is customary for guests to bring presents for both the mother and the baby. Guests can refer to the mother's gift registry to choose items she specifically needs or wants, or they can opt for more personalised gifts. Curated gift boxes filled with baby shower essentials and personalised items are a popular option. Some guests may also choose to spoil the mother-to-be with gifts for herself, such as gift cards for restaurants or self-care experiences like manicures, pedicures, or massages. Other thoughtful gifts for the mother include sleep headphones, bubble bath or shower bombs, tea or coffee, wine and charcuterie, or a fancy bag of chocolates and hand cream.

It is important to consider the mother-to-be's preferences when selecting a gift. While some mothers may appreciate gifts that cater to their personal interests or hobbies, others may prefer sticking to the registry to ensure they receive items they need for the baby. Guests can also add a special touch by including the baby's name on gifts, if it is known beforehand.

The baby shower is a joyous occasion, and gifts are a significant part of the celebration. Whether guests choose to purchase items from the registry, spoil the mother-to-be with personalised gifts, or contribute to the event in other ways, their presence and support are what matter most to the mother-to-be.

Virtual baby showers: Virtual baby showers are an option, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Hosts should send out virtual invitations two to four weeks in advance

While traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or co-workers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers, today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower, including a mother-in-law, as long as there's a legitimate reason. If the mother-in-law is a hostess, she should contribute her time or money. If she is a guest, her role is simply to show up with a gift and be supportive.

Virtual baby showers are an option, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, to ensure the health and safety of everyone involved. Hosts can use online platforms such as Zoom, Webex, Skype, Google Hangouts, Facebook Portal, or WebBabyShower to bring guests together from the comfort of their own homes. It is a good idea to test out different platforms in advance, just as one would test out different venues for an in-person event.

Hosts should send out virtual invitations two to four weeks in advance. Some platforms, like WebBabyShower, offer an easy way to send and track invitations, as well as other features such as a gift registry, a guest book, a games page, and video and photo albums to commemorate the event.

• Choose a theme for the shower to make it easier to plan and more fun.
• Pick a favourite pregnancy movie and a restaurant that delivers to each guest's home.
• Create a drive-by baby shower where friends can drop off gifts during a specified period. The next day, create a Facebook Live event to open the gifts, play games, and enjoy cupcakes and drinks.
• Send out invitations for a "future date" after the baby is born so the new mom can enjoy a glass of wine while playing typical shower games and showing off her new offspring.

Frequently asked questions