In-Laws Marrying: Is It Allowed?

The topic of in-laws getting married is a complex and intriguing one, with varying opinions and legal standings across different cultures and religions. While some people might find the idea unusual or even taboo, it is not illegal in many places as long as there is no blood relation involved. In England and Wales, for instance, co-parents-in-law are not prohibited from marrying, even if it results in their respective children becoming step-siblings. This scenario has been depicted in popular culture, such as in the TV show How I Met Your Mother. Interestingly, in Judaism, there is no explicit prohibition against in-laws marrying, and anecdotes suggest that it has occurred within the Jewish community. However, the opinion on this topic varies, and some sources suggest that it may be advisable for the children of the in-laws to be married first to avoid any social or religious concerns.

Can in-laws get married?

In-laws marrying is legal in England and Wales

In-laws are not specifically prohibited from marrying in England and Wales. However, there are several legal requirements that must be met for a marriage to be valid. These include:

• Age: Both parties must be at least 18 years old. Previously, 16 and 17-year-olds could marry with parental consent, but this is no longer permitted.
• Consent: The marriage must be entered into voluntarily by both parties without coercion. Forced marriages are illegal.
• Witnesses: The wedding ceremony must be witnessed by at least two competent people.
• Legal ceremony: The marriage must be conducted by an authorised celebrant or registrar, depending on whether it is a religious or civil ceremony.
• Venue: Civil marriages cannot take place in religious venues, and religious marriages must be conducted in a registered religious building.
• Foreign nationals: There are residency conditions that must be met by foreign nationals before they can marry in England and Wales.
• Same-sex marriage: Same-sex couples can marry in civil or religious ceremonies, provided the religious organisation has agreed to perform same-sex marriages.
• Polygamous marriage: Polygamous marriages are not valid in England and Wales.
• Proxy marriage: Marriages performed under UK law are not valid if conducted by proxy, although there may be exceptions if both partners are domiciled in a country that recognises proxy marriages.

It is important to note that marriage laws in England and Wales have evolved over time and continue to do so. While in-laws marrying is not specifically prohibited, it is essential to ensure that any marriage meets the legal requirements to be valid.

In-laws marrying is not prohibited in Judaism

In-laws are defined as the relatives of your spouse, which includes the relatives of your spouse's parents. While in some cultures, it is forbidden to marry one's in-laws, this is not the case in Judaism. In fact, there are no explicit prohibitions in Jewish law against in-laws marrying each other.

In Judaism, marriage is regarded as a civil transaction and a contractual agreement between a man and a woman. It is not required to have a rabbi or any other religious official present for the marriage to be valid, although it is common for rabbis to officiate. The marriage can be established through money, contract, or sexual intercourse. The act of erusin or betrothal involves the groom handing an object of value, such as a ring, or a document stating the betrothal to the bride, in the presence of two unrelated male witnesses.

The legal bond of marriage in Judaism is created through the kiddushin and nisuin. The kiddushin can be carried out by the man and does not require the presence of a rabbi. The woman becomes forbidden to all other men and is designated for the man who betrothed her. This bond can only be dissolved by death or divorce. The nisuin, meaning "elevation", completes the process of marriage, where the husband brings the wife into his home and they begin their life together.

While there are no explicit prohibitions against in-laws marrying, there are certain conditions and restrictions surrounding marriage in Judaism. For example, a kohein is not permitted to marry a divorcee, a convert, or a promiscuous woman. Additionally, intermarriage is often discouraged in Judaism, although opinions may vary.

In conclusion, while there may be cultural or social taboos surrounding in-laws marrying, it is not prohibited in Judaism as long as the marriage adheres to the legal and religious requirements, such as the presence of witnesses and the recognition of the mutual obligations of the marital relationship.

In-laws marrying can lead to funny conversations and conflicts of interest

In-laws marrying is not unheard of and is, in fact, legal in some places. For example, in England and Wales, it is legal for co-parents-in-law to marry. This means that a husband's father and a wife's mother can marry, even if it would make their respective married children step-siblings. While this may be a rare occurrence, it can certainly lead to some funny conversations and awkward situations.

Imagine having to explain to new acquaintances that your father-in-law is now also your step-father, or that your mother-in-law is now your step-mother. It could make for some interesting family dynamics and might even lead to some conflicts of interest. For example, if the newly married couple were to divorce, it could create a tricky situation for the in-laws, who may feel pressure to choose sides.

Additionally, the already complex dynamics between in-laws could become even more challenging. In-law relationships are often fraught with tension, and this new development could add another layer of complexity. The in-laws might now have to navigate not only their relationship with each other but also their unexpected step-parent/step-child relationship. This could lead to conflicts over holidays, traditions, and other family matters.

Furthermore, the original married couple might find themselves in a tricky situation, having to navigate their relationships with both their spouse and their now-interconnected in-laws. They may feel a sense of loyalty being pulled in different directions, and it could be challenging to set healthy boundaries. Couples therapy could be a helpful tool in this situation, providing a structured way to address these complex dynamics and navigate challenging conversations.

While in-laws marrying can lead to some humorous conversations and light-hearted confusion, it is important to remember that it can also create very real conflicts and tensions within the family. Clear communication, boundary-setting, and mutual respect are key to navigating these complex relationship dynamics.

In-laws marrying was not allowed if a previous partner had died

Marriage is a complex institution, and its dynamics often change following the death of a spouse. While in-laws are not legally considered relatives, the death of a spouse can significantly impact the relationship dynamics within the family. The relationship between in-laws and their deceased child's spouse is not bound by any legal framework, and individuals are free to decide the nature of their association.

In cases where there are children involved, it is advisable to agree on a schedule that allows both sets of grandparents to maintain a relationship with the grandchildren. This can be beneficial for everyone involved, as the grandchildren can feel the presence of their deceased parent through their grandparents, and vice versa. However, it is essential to set boundaries and be mindful of manipulative or controlling behaviour by in-laws, as this may be their way of coping with grief.

The decision to continue or sever ties with in-laws after the death of a spouse is a personal one. Some individuals may choose to maintain a relationship with their in-laws, especially if they had a close bond with them. Others may decide to let go of the relationship, especially if it is fraught with conflict or if the in-laws disapprove of their new partner. It is important to consider the impact of this decision on any children involved and to act in their best interests.

In blended families, where there are children from previous relationships, it is crucial to foster an inclusive environment and not discriminate based on blood relations. The adults in the family should communicate and decide on the roles they will play in each other's lives, taking into account the well-being of the children involved. While there is no "right or wrong" timeline for moving on after the death of a spouse, it is essential to have honest conversations with oneself and one's support system.

In-laws marrying is more common than you think

There are several anecdotes and references to popular culture that demonstrate this. For instance, in the TV show How I Met Your Mother, Lily's dad dates Marshall's mom, and in another example, someone shares that their grandparents married after their respective spouses had passed away, making them step-siblings.

In addition, a Reddit user mentions that they know twins who married twins, making them each other's in-laws. Another user comments that it is more common than one might think, especially when people spend a lot of time together, and that they have often heard of parent in-laws and brother/sister in-laws getting married.

While it may raise some eyebrows within families due to it being outside the norm, as long as all parties are consenting adults who can communicate respectfully and honestly, there is nothing inherently wrong or weird about in-laws marrying.

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